narrating kayoz

Clearing the fog of distractions

Listening to Encounter tonight I was struck by the idea of asceticism as removing distractions ("clearing the fog off the windscreen") rather than being about exerting discipline.

It was a climate change edition of Encounter, exploring "how people from three religious traditions have linked their concerns about Climate Change with the ancient teachings and practices of ascetics."

I only listened to the first half of the program on my way home (have downloaded the podcast to listen to the rest later), but even in that time I went from feeling inspired, to despair, to something like hope.

Inspired: Yes, I *must* try harder to declutter, to consume less, and to lead our family into a more 'simple' lifestyle;

Despair: it's too hard - I really don't want to live without creature comforts like evaporative cooling in summer and central heating in winter; it costs too much - to modify our house to be more efficient, for instance, although we have made some starts, increasing our insulation, putting up shade over the west side, having the evaporative cooler empty into a water tank to use on the garden; and takes too much time - I'm only just keeping up with the measly vegie garden I have planted this year, and the clutter, the clutter! How can I ever get on top of it?

Hope: The thing is all those distractions. If I could just clear some of them out of my life, maybe I would have more time to clear the clutter, to make things by hand and from scratch, to expand our vegetable garden and fruit tree plantings.

But what are the distractions? Is it blogging (when did I last write a post?)? Reading blogs? Is it social networking? Do I need to give up my at home computer hours? Is it TV? Is it reading escapist novels? Is it trying to write, or even planning to write? If I gave up that dream, if I settled for my 9-5, 3 day/week job, would that give me more time to focus on the important things in life? Or is that really one of them?

Since I've been pregnant and tired, I have done much less than usual of most of those things anyway, except for probably the two biggest time wasters, TV & novels. All the TV shows I've been watching are finished for the year now though, so that's an easy one to toss over - for the moment. But the fact is it never did take up that much time anyway, it's only because I've been pregnant (nauseous, tired etc) that I've watched more.

And unlike many of the critics, I really do value my online social networking time - not that facebook isn't full of time wasters, but it also lets me keep in touch with people I otherwise wouldn't, even family members who are overseas or across the country. 

And, I also value my sitting chatting with my husband after the kids are in bed & chores done, which is often what the evening consists of if we're not watching TV. This, what I'm doing now, is using up that time. But I need time to do this too. To think on paper (so to speak), to keep my finger on the pulse of my life.

Sometimes I fear the biggest distraction is none of these things, but a general tendency to laziness. I don't like housework (decluttering included), and I do like sitting around relaxing - chatting, reading, whatever.

The thing is, I don't think I'm going to change that about myself. And the very idea of becoming one of those people who never sit down, who spend all their evenings in chores, and who have (therefore) clean houses - well, it doesn't appeal. I mean, the clean house does. But the never sitting down? Not so much.

So what is the answer then? I don't want it to be about discipline. I want it to be about clearing away the fog to make things easier, not harder. But I don't think I've quite figured out how to do that yet. 

Enoughness

I came across the idea of 'enoughness' recently, when talking with a colleague who studied sociology with Ian Hughes at the Australian National University (ANU) some years ago. Apparently Hughes (who was an anthropologist & sociologist - odd mix I know) did some work in Papua New Guinea, where he came across this concept.*

In a particular community he visited there, people actually lived the concept of enoughness. They had an idea of how much was enough - enough to see them through with a little extra for a slow year - and then stopped accumulating more. Instead they moved to putting their energy into cultural improvement - creating, adding to their culture.

Last year for my Blog Action Day post, I wrote about consumerism, and my efforts to avoid the indoctrination of my children with the materialist ethic of our culture. Blog Action Day last year was about the environment. This year it's about poverty, but I find myself writing about almost the same subject.

Imagine if everyone in Australia had, and practiced, the concept of enoughness. Instead of constantly wanting more, we could say, that's enough - and then give of ourselves to our community. There wouldn't be any unemployment, because people would be working less. Community organisations wouldn't be struggling for lack of volunteers, because people would have plenty of time to give back - helping out at a soup kitchen or running a protest rally or listening to kids read at school or whatever.

I struggle personally with this concept all the time. I am as materialistic as the next person, and though I try to resist it, I often fail. And I don't mean that I just fail to avoid consuming. What I mean is that I fail to avoid wanting. You may say there's nothing wrong with wanting, if you are able to avoid acting on the want. Sure - it's our actions we are responsible for, not our emotions. There's something to that, but I'd sure like to be able to overcome the emotion too. To figure out exactly what it is that drives the want, and to beat it.

But back to enoughness. How do we know when something is enough? At the moment, Chris and I both work part-time, so that one of us is (almost) always home with Mikaela (and Liam after school). Of course, we always feel that we are struggling a bit with money as a result, but really we're not. We just can't buy the things we want.

Things like a bigger hard drive so we can put all our music into iTunes and onto our iPod. We don't need that but we really want it. Things like a bike for Chris so he could ride with Liam, and maybe even work up to riding to work (we both usually take the bus at the moment). Hey, maybe even a bike for me. Of course there's also non-material consuming like dinners out or going to see a movie (either of which we can really afford to do *occasionally* anyway).

And then there's the really big one: things like a bigger house (with a bedroom for each of the (planned) kids, and maybe even a study as well), with a bigger yard. Why do we feel we need that? Because it's what most of our friends have, or at the very least expect to have within the next few years. We have bedroom for each of the kids at the moment if we give up the study. But we are hoping to have another kid (isn't two enough? I hear you ask), so then two kids will have to share *and* we'll have to give up the study.

But you know what? So what? Kids share all the time. We could put the computer in a corner of our bedroom. But I grew up with my own room from the age of six (when my Dad moved out and I got the study!), most of Liam's friends have their own rooms (or will have within a few years, base on their parents intentions), and well... it seems good. I mean, really.

For Liam and his friends to be able to go build lego in Liam's room is really good at the moment, because Mikaela wants to follow Liam everywhere, but she just is not fun for him to have around when he's trying to build lego space ships. At the moment Kaely is still in our room (and we're still in the study!), but that can't last if we have another baby. So yeah, I would love to have another bedroom so they could each have their own.

But if I gave up on that plan? I would suddenly feel immeasurably richer. And then the presure to work more would diminish a little. And if I could give up on all the other wants, the pressure to work more would diminish a whole lot.

The blog action day theme is poverty, and here I am talking about my own richness and desire for more. But what I'm really thinking is that if everyone who had as much as I do (or more), stopped, if we all said "that's enough", and started using the rest of our time and money to contribute - be it by writing a book, painting a painting, planting trees, or continuing in our seventy-hour-a-week jobs but donating our excess income to helping people who don't have enough  - well, I wonder how long it would take to eliminate poverty around the world?

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* A google search hasn't turned up any information, so I'm not entirely sure of my facts here, but for the purposes of this blog post it doesn't really matter.

Befuddled and bothered by climate change and colds

I read a(nother) scary article on climate change the other day - how it's happening faster than experts were predicting, etc, and how dry continents like Australia specifically will be impacted over the next forty odd years. I must say it was sobering to realise that in forty years I'll be rather past my prime, but even more sobering to think about the world my kids will be trying to make their way in.

I wondered - if we really took this seriously, would we be trying to have another baby? Not for the reason I remember my peers spouting back when we were in our teens - that the world was just too nasty a place subject them to - but more just in terms of the added burden more people place on the planet's resources, and more specifically on our own resources.

Well, we are still going to try for a third baby, climate change (and many other practical considerations) be damned. But we're also going to sit down and plan out a bit more concretely what we should/can/will do to climate-change-proof our own lives. We already turn off things at the wall, use (mostly) energy saver lights, and will have replenished our roof insulation within the month. But bigger projects we've talked about like getting a big tank put in, a proper grey water system (as opposed to the hose out the window type), solar panels - those things we can't afford right now, but can be more seriously about planning for. And then there are other things like putting in as many fruit trees as we can fit and getting better at growing our own food.

Of course, some of these depend on whether we are really staying in this house for the long haul or not. It is west facing, on a weird shaped block which gives us little good sunny yard space and has one less bedroom than we'd like. But it's got a great view, it's in a good location for our needs, it's got some lovely things about the yard as well, and one less bedroom means a smaller carbon footprint anyway.

That is some of the sort of conversation we've been having in our house over the past few days. Interspersed with conversations about planting heirloom tomatoes, getting another Silky chook or two and why we have come down with yet another cold. But much time and many kid-focussed activities have passed since I started writing this post this morning, and additionally my brain is now anti-histamine befuddled.

Back in the workforce

I feel I should be blogging about the Garnaut Report today, but I haven't got the detail of it yet, and besides I'm sure there are many, many other people doing it better than I could.

So instead I'm going to blog about my new job. I started back to work in the public service this Wednesday. I'm still officially working for my old area (that is, they're paying for me), but I'm located in a different area. It's web work basically. Initially it looked like it would be more writing and editing, but it looks like it might end up being more the technical side of things, though perhaps with some editing, or at least providing advice about writing for the web.

And that's okay with me, because I'm going to be learning new stuff. Yesterday, for instance, I learned some new things about coding in XHTML (strict) which I haven't done before. Also the main website I'm going to be working on is in a content management system which I haven't used before, and the intranet (managed by the same area) uses SharePoint, which I also haven't used before.

More importantly even than the work, the team appears to be fairly together. By that I mean they seem to like each other, they're interesting people, and I think they'll be fun to work with. My last team was peopled with lovely people, but was nonetheless rather dysfunctional - most people didn't seem to want to be there. I think this is going to be quite different. There are also a number of other part-timers in the team, which is a good sign. I've only spent a day and half in their company, so I could be wrong about this team. But I don't think I am.

When I was studying psychology in year eleven, I remember reading that people's beliefs tend to match their behaviour to the extent that if you manage to change someone's behaviour their belief system will usually follow.

I've been back at work three days, and already I can see that working on me. I think I might just like working. True, it costs me the time I've spent writing over the past year. And if someone would pay me to sit in my study and write - write the stuff I want to - than yes, I would choose that. But you know, there's something rather pleasant about getting out of the house, getting to dress-up a bit, maybe even put on some makeup (though I predict that won't last another week) and be with other people.

Another nice thing is that while I was on leave the function of government I work under was moved from one department to another. So I am working in a new department, and of all the departments there are, it is probably the one I would choose. (The one I was in wasn't bad, but only because of the function that came across to the new department*, and even so, I didn't feel quite as at home there as I think I will here.) And now I am working in the main part of the department, so that potentially opens up opportunities to move into other areas at a later time.

And so, for the first time really in years I can see myself starting to think of this as a potential career, rather than just a job. So much, I think, depends on the team you find yourself in. I hope this one goes on as well as it has started.

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*Sorry about the confusing code, I don't want to actually mention department names. Though anyone from my team who read this would immediately know who I am, so I'm not sure why I am so careful. It's just my policy.

More on that sustainable, ethical living theme

After the post I wrote a week or two ago about sustainable living, I started to think - maybe we should start doing the 'no new purchases' thing - where you don't buy anything new except groceries and underwear. Anything else you need you have to find second hand. We could do it for six months and see how we go.

The next day I checked my credit card balance, for some reason, and it was more than $3000 higher than I expected - turns out where I thought I'd paid last month's horrific balance, apparently I hadn't (probably I paid online and walked away from the computer before it got to the 'confirm' screen). So our bank balance was suddenly a lot sadder than I thought, and not getting any better, what with me not earning any money until July.

So, we are now on a real spending freeze. The deal is that at least until July we buy nothing new except groceries, underwear (only if we really need it) and shoes (again, only if we really need them, but both being trained in the bodywork industry, we both feel the importance of wearing shoes that aren't too unevenly worn - which means Liam gets bought new shoes when he outgrows the last ones and I get mine resoled over and over until they simply can't be worn any more). Also, we're not allowed to buy anything second hand unless we both agree that we really need it or we buy it out of our own spending money (and $20/week doesn't go very far). Because this is not just about sustainable consumption any more, it's also about sustaining our bank balance. Also we're cutting back significantly on grocery money, plus not buying any more cling wrap!

So there it is.

And on the topic of sustainable consumption here's Jackie French:

I’m a bit suspicious of a lot of so called ‘green tips’. Badly made backyard compost can lead to global warming methane and cockroaches (The methane is the global warming culprit, not the cockroaches). And sometimes keeping your old stuff is a heck of a lot more earth friendly than buying new ‘green’ versions of cars or clothes.

A lot of ‘ green tips’ remind me a bit of a girl I knew back in the 1960’s. She decided not to eat any more chocolate till the Vietnam War ended.

It didn’t make any difference to the war of course. But she felt nice and virtuous because she was giving something up. Which is what most ‘green tips’; are meant to do- to make us feel virtuous about doing small things for the planet- recycling paper, or not having a good long fragrant soak- while we still roam the world for holidays and consume more household ‘goods’ (or bads, or just plain sillies).

"The journey to live a simpler...more sustainable existence"

In searching for information on golden nugget pumpkins* this morning I came across two interesting sites. One is the blog of a woman who describes it as a "diary of her home and family on a journey to live a simpler, more thoughtful and more sustainable existence". It's called The Tin House. The second was a SMH article by Jackie French called "Self Sufficiency on a Balcony" (though she covers a back yard as well).

I haven't finished reading either of them (not that you ever really finish reading a blog, but I've really only skimmed a few posts so far), but the idea, particularly of the blog, got me thinking. Maybe I should do a similar thing here. Not that I don't still use this blog as a baby book, memory dump, soap box, etc, but maybe I should also use it to document our efforts to move towards a more sustainable, ethical life.

Because documenting things can often be enough to motivate one to do them better. It works for me anyway (that's how I've lost 12+ kilos in the past seven months, bringing back to my several-years-pre-pregnancy weight).

The thing is, as soon as I came up with the idea I started getting cold feet. Why? Because of all the things we could be doing but aren't, or are doing but could be doing more or better. It's frankly embarrassing.

Things we are doing to some people seem great, to others seem token. Things we aren't doing to some people seem over the top and to others seem essential.

For instance, we decided to buy a freezer last year, so we could buy in bulk and cook in bulk and have somewhere to put it all. But we spent many months over the project because we wanted to buy a second hand one, for environmental as well as economic reasons, and we didn't want it to be too old or the lack of energy efficiency would make the whole exercise a little pointless (we figured). So that's good right? We're trying to teach Liam that to reduce or reuse is better than to recycle. But in the past year we also bought (new) an iPod dock, various picture frames, large plastic boxes (for storing hand-me-down clothes till the kids grow into them), a plastic drawers thingy for storing stationary, a plastic water jug, a toy pram for Mikaela, a baby monitor and no doubt a thousand other little things that I don't happen to be able to see from where I'm sitting. Oh, and this laptop upon which I am typing.

Whereas my sister and her husband made a pact at the beginning of last year to buy nothing new but groceries and underwear. I don't know for sure how well they've done, but I know they are still doing it.

Does that mean they don't buy cling wrap? I don't know, but I know we do - I try to minimise it's use (eg using containers with lids to store things in the fridge), but I suppose if I were trying sufficiently hard we wouldn't need to buy it any more.

Also we've changed most of our lightglobes over to the long life fluro ones, we've got water saver shower heads, and small tanks on each down pipe (and a big one to feed water into the toilets and laundry is in the pipeline), which this year are supplying most of the water for our garden. But we also have an evaporative cooler which we use frequently in the summer. And three computers! (One is pretty old, and one is not very new and was bought for us by Chris's dad, but still.)

And we buy some organic produce, but lots of not organic (and some imported), simply because of the money. But of course if we didn't buy laptops and iPod docks maybe we could afford more organic produce. Then again we are doing out best to grow our own. And our chickens are supplying us with all our eggs, but of course, their food isn't all organic either.

 

See what I'm saying? To document our journey towards a more sustainable existence I have to admit to where we are on that journey now.

Anyway, The Tin House has a list of blogs she likes to read with titles like 'Aussies Living Simply' and 'Down to Earth', so I'm off to browse the web for more inspiration.

 

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*Because the zucchini plants we bought from Liam's school fair turned out to be some kind of pumpkin - I *think* golden nuggets, or maybe minikins - and I am trying to figure out how to tell, and also how to tell when they're ready to pick.

Child, halt thy consumption

Teaching Liam about consumerism is tricky, when I have such pronounced consumerist tendencies myself. But I am trying to do it all the same - trying to teach him to question consumer culture; to first Reduce, then Reuse and finally Recycle.

In my favour are the facts that I am a cheapskate (and with good reason, given our finances), and that I have a bit of a depression mentality. So I try to avoid spending money anyway, and I hate to throw anything out.

Against me is the fact that I am an emotional shopper. When I’ve had a bad day, I don’t just want to eat chocolate, I want to buy myself chocolate or some other treat. Also I like buying things. That seems to contradict the cheapskate statement I know, but I like buying certain kinds of things, especially if I think they are bargains. It’s hard to define better than that, but when I am in certain kinds of stores, newsagents, hardware stores, Big W, I have this urge to purchase something, anything. Bunnings especially because the options are so many – a sample pot of paint to try on the bathroom wall, a bag of cow poo to dig into the garden, a punnet of seedlings perhaps… You get the picture.

But I am trying to improve myself, and I am trying to help Liam be aware of the impacts of our consumption.

This is my Blog Action Day post, because I believe  everyday consumerism is a major threat to the environment.

So what am I doing with Liam? Well, first trying to curb my own consumerist ways.

Aside from that I do the obvious things like say No almost every time he asks me to buy him something; I don’t let him watch any commercial TV (which we wouldn’t do anyway, for a host of reasons); and I try to avoid taking him into toy shops and the like, although with even the supermarkets already in full Christmas mode with huge toy displays everywhere, that last one is a little tricky.

Luckily Liam doesn’t tend to ask for stuff he sees in shops all that much – not the big things anyway. I suspect that’s because we have always said no. Things that either we, or as often as not a certain grandfather, have bought before (certain food items in our case, rubber balls and other inexpensive junk in his grandfather’s) he does ask for, although he’s mostly learned to not bother asking me for the junk. I do let him buy a 50c item from St Vinnie’s quite often, which I explain is because it’s second hand, so no new resources have gone into making it for him. I’m not sure if he takes that in though.

I also do talk to him about the environment and the Reduce/Reuse/Recycle slogan. We talk about saving resources like water and trees, and we’ve talked about the importance of habitat preservation (though not in those terms). He understands a bit about the drought and water restrictions and a little less about global warming, although he still wastes a lot of water. This may not seem that connected to consumerism, but water use, power use – it’s all consumption.

Recently we bought a second hand freezer, and it took us a few months of haphazard looking to find one we were happy with, so again, I explained to Liam that we really wanted to get a second hand one so there wouldn’t be any new resources (electricity is the thing he mainly understands) used to make it for us.

All in all I’m not sure how successful I have so far been in avoiding inducting Liam into the rampant consumerism of our culture, but I am trying. The two most important things I think I can do are to bring up the impact we have on the environment in little ways often, and to lead by example. I’m better at the first than the second, but I’m getting there.

One other thing I will do is give him Jean Hegland’s Into the Forest, when he’s old enough to cope with it. That book had quite an impact on me (though it certainly didn’t do anything good for my packrat habit, unless you count never throwing anything away as a good thing!).

Do you have any other suggestions for this parenting project?

50 Quick, Painless Ways You Can Help the Environment Today

There are some things here I hadn't thought of: The Action Blog - 50 Quick, Painless Ways You Can Help the Environment Today.

Tomorrow is Blog Action Day, so I'm off to draft my post.