narrating kayoz

Baby monsters to cuddle in bed

The children have just got to bed, a little later than usual (it's 7:25 as I write, Kaely's asleep, Liam's light's just gone out, after he finished reading me a chapter (and a bit more, because I am weak and wanted to know what came next just as much as he did) of his current book), because they were playing so well after dinner. You might think that means we hated to disturb them, but really it means we hated to disturb ourselves when they were playing happily in the other room!

Mikaela took two baby monsters with her to bed tonight. At first she was playing a game of running away from the monster, "It's going to get me. Quick!" But then suddenly it became a baby monster who she had to hold in her arms and rock to sleep. And then the baby monster wanted to sit on her shoulder while she made a bed for it on Liam's bed (where she thought she might sleep too.)

What I found particularly interesting was that she evidently told Liam they could share the baby monster, but then when he wanted it to sit on his shoulder (this is a bit later on, after teeth cleaning when we were all in his room), and she wanted to hold it, it took him quite a while to come up with "Oh, here's my other baby monster under the bed, he wants to sit on my shoulder." For a while it looked like it may all end in tears because both of them wanted to hold their new imaginary friend at the same time.

Then Mikaela was suddenly holding both (they wanted to be together you see, and Liam was busy reading to me), so I told Liam that was another one, and as she took them away to her room he got another one (or two?) out from under his bed to sleep with him.

Also, Mikaela did not want to go into her room, she wanted to stay in Liam's bed, but when I said, "The baby monsters want to go into your room now, they told me," she ran off happily.

Kids' first trick or treat

As Australian readers know, trick or treating is not particularly common in Australia (although it is becoming more so) - nor is celebrating Halloween in general.* I started going trick or treating as a child after (I think) we did some Halloween things in school and I got all into writing spells and drawing ghosts. But not many of my contemporaries did it, and most houses were visited we less than prepared (but perfectly congenial, for all that).

I don't think we've ever even mentioned Halloween to Liam, much less the idea of trick or treating, but it must have come up at school, because on Friday night at dinner he piped up with "Can we go trick or treating tomorrow?"

I don't know what came over me, but I said sure. So at five o'clock on Saturday night we had to come up with costumes and bags. Liam dressed up as a pirate, with a bit of face paint, a bandana, and a stick for a sword. Kaely decided she wanted to be a fairy (I thought she'd be a pirate with Liam), but then changed her mind when I produced wings out of a secret hand-me-down bag. She didn't like them, but she did like the wand. So she went as not-a-fairy with a wand.

We went very, very local, only knocking on doors where we knew the people, up and down the street from us. We ended up finding six people home, out of about nine doors knocked on. The first (one of our immediate next-door-neighbours) said abruptly "Oh, sorry, we don't do that." (See footnote below for probably explanation.) Which led Liam to say "I'm a bit scared," when knocking at the next house. But happily, everyone else was more than friendly. About half were prepared, but everyone came up with something for the kids. 

We don't really see much of our neighbours. We had a street New Year's Eve party two or three years back which was the first time we met most of them. Many of them have been here since the suburb was built thirty odd years ago, and they told us that way back then - when they were mostly young couples with children - they did this every New Year, blocking of part of the street and having a grand old time. Now most of their children have moved away, and so have many of those original owners, and the community has become more disparate.

So it was nice to stop and chat with some of them as we made our rounds. We visited, as I said, six houses, yet it took us about 45 minutes. And as well as the requisite lollies and chocolates we came home with a bag of broad beans and two tomato seedlings ("the best cultivar in the world").

Before we left home I told the kids that any lollies they collected would be put into a joint family bowl when we got back. This was partly to head off any comparisons on who got what or how much, and partly because the 'fairy bag' I found Mikaela was tiny (though as it turns out, it was big enough).

They got little enough (five houses, after all), that when we did get back I decided to let them eat it all then and there and get the sugar rush over in one go. This worked like a charm. Liam doesn't like chocolate, so although he tried one mini milkyway, he ended up giving it to Chris and was happy for Mikaela, Chris & I to divide the rest. But then, Kaely ate maybe half a dozen lollies, one chocolate, and ended up giving the rest away. She had a butter scotch, which was probably the first really hard lolly she'd ever had, and did not like the effect (I had to dig it out of her teeth for her!), so I think it was partly that put her off.

In any case, they both had a smashing good time, were perfectly happy with their tiny haul, and very keen to do it again next year. And we had a lovely time catching up with some neighbours, so we'll be happy to as well.

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*Which could lead to a whole discussion on how some snotty Aussie's get annoyed by Halloween celebrations, complaining that we are taking on more US culture, when in fact Halloween goes back a lot further than the US does, right back to Pagan culture - but lets not bother going there right now. I'm happy with simply saying that Chris is half American, so trick or treating is letting our kids explore their American heritage.

Kids, garden, worms and more!

A post in dot points.

What? It's Spring, and I'm pregnant. I don't have time to do better than this! But lots of things are happening.

• Mikaela, for instance, has been out of nappies (except at night) since last weekend. We picked an awful time to do it, given she was sick - quite sick by Monday - but oh well. It's going reasonably well so far. A few more accidents than we had with Liam, but she is six months younger than he was. I know some people do it about a year or more earlier than this, and put up with accidents for longer, but I just don't have it in me for that. I'd much rather deal with nappies than accidents! But she was more than ready, and the weather is warming, so we've taken the plunge.


• Liam started Hapkido last week. He was over the moon with excitement about it afterwards. He's gone along to his second class today. Chris has been doing Hapkido on and off for a few years (though his real background is in Taekwondo), but mostly off for the past couple due to various injuries (not to mention ankle surgery). However, he is back for his first class in a year today and very happy about it. They have a 'parents & kids' session - two classes side by side - so we're hoping that will work out for the two of them for a while. I am more than happy to have it not be an after school activity that I will have to drag Mikaela and the baby to next year.
  
  Getting Liam into a martial art has been something Chris has always been in favour of, though he agreed with me that he shouldn't start too young, so he's happy too. And I've ruled that it's going to count as his summer activity (instead of cricket, tin pin bowls or basket ball, which were Liam's other plans), so I'm happy. I'm a bit strict about limiting out of school activities - he's always had swimming on Sundays, but aside from that, the AFL this winter was his first regular extra-curricular commitment.
  
  I'm mean about it partly out of a philosophy that really wants to limit those sorts of structured activities, and partly out of an awareness that eventually there will be three of them to ferry around.


• Liam also started knitting at home this week. He's been knitting at school since the start of second term (ie about April), but on Friday he convinced me to buy him some needles (5.5mm) and wool from the Orana shop, and he's been working on a 'stick holder' (don't ask) enthusiastically since. One row at a time (or less), but almost all his own work. I was a bit worried that he would end up asking me to do most of it, but so far so good.


• It is Spring and the gardening fever has hit. Well, in theory anyway. In practice I'm trying not to ask too much of myself, given I'm only just getting over the morning sickness part of pregnancy (despite being 16 weeks now, and a few days).
  
  I was looking at my vegie garden the other day, and realised that if I did nothing but maintain it (weed, water and harvest) we'd most certainly have silverbeet, parsley (both of which are still there from last year), and volunteer tomatoes - at least tom thumbs - peas, maybe snap beans, and probably potatoes. Which wouldn't be so bad. Oh, and cos lettuce, some of which have already come up, self seeded.
  
  However, I don't plan to leave it at that. So yesterday Kaely and I got out and planted some sugar snap peas (seeds) and some rocket (seedlings). Next month we'll get in some zuchinnis and tomatoes, and hopefully between now and then I'll sow some carrot and spring onion seeds. Oh, and I really want to get some basil in this year. And Liam wants corn.
  
  Pretty basic. I'm not going to bother with beans this year - unless maybe one or two plants - because we just couldn't keep up with them last year. We're not really bean eaters, except raw in salads or straight off the bush. And having realised that if I do nothing, we'll still have some harvest, I now feel that anything is a bonus. But I have set myself up for better success this year by not planning too much.
  
  Same with the rest of the garden. We've got weeds galore coming up out the front, so I must get out and pull them up after the next rain, but aside from that if I get nothing but maintenance done I'll be happy. We put in a second apple tree and a medlar at the very last gasp of the bare root tree planting season (or slightly beyond, if the truth be known), and next year we'll try for some more fruit trees. But I remind myself that we will shortly have three young children, and that neither one of us has (or even really wants) a good protestant work ethic. We like to read, rest, sit around and chat, that sort of thing. So if we don't get the garden to look as good as my parents' garden does, well, it's nice to remember that theirs wasn't anything close to what it is now until I was in high-school. So as long as we get some more fruit trees in over the next couple of years, we'll be right.


• Also on the gardening front, I got a garden bed worm farm last weekend, which we are planning to use to process all the poo Lochie produces. Seriously, that dog is just a pooing machine! Obviously we won't haven't put it near any food plants, but I am hoping that we can move it around the garden to a different spot every six-twelve months and really build up the worm population in our soil, as well as deal with the poo problem. The worms supplied with it are a mix which includes both composting worms, and a kind of earth worm which will work more to take the goodness of the worm castings down into the soil. It sits directly in the garden bed, so there's no need for us to remove the castings ourselves. Lovely system. Hope it works!
  
  Unfortunately Chris wormed Lochie right before we got the farm, so we've had to wait a week to begin feeding them the poo. And that's going to be an issue for one week of every month. But processing the poo to be useful (instead of polluting) three weeks out of four is still a huge improvement over what we've been doing.


• I'm 16.5 weeks pregnant. I *think* I've started feeling the odd movement - as of Wednesday morning - but I'm not completely convinced yet. I know that with both the other kids I had a similar experience, and then later when I was sure I decided that's what I'd been feeling all along. But I also know that there've been times between pregnancies when I've felt some gas moving around in my gut and thought it felt exactly like the baby moving around in later pregnancy. This early it's a different feeling, but still, I'm withholding judgement. It's still exciting though.


• Edited to add: And Liam's reading is coming along in leaps and bounds. I got him some new Zac Power books from the library, not realising these were longer with smaller text. At first he struggled a little (though not as much as with Harry Potter, of which we are still reading a couple of pages at a time in between Zac Power books), but a few days later and he's doing really well with them.

Okay, I'd better start getting dinner organised now. I promised Kaely we would make pancakes for dinner, so she's been agitating to get started for half an hour already.

Reading with Liam

"When can I read the first Harry Potter book?" Liam asked me the other day.

"When you can read it yourself," I said. Of course, he immediately claimed that he can read it himself in his head, now. Which I know to be untrue. So I amended "When you can read it out loud to me, then."

Now, they don't really start reading books until class two at Orana. In class one (where Liam is now) they learn to write, and they read only what they have written (or what their teacher writes on the board). They haven't done much in the way of phonics yet, although they have learned about the 'magic e' that sits silently at the end of words and makes the preceding vowel long. And they have learned about sentences, pausing (for a count of three no less) after every full stop. I think they'll be learning about 'blends' - 'st', 'tr' 'sh' etc - in their next English main lesson* (at the moment they are in a math main lesson).

So when I said "when you can read it to me", I really meant "maybe next year". However, Liam's response was "Yay, can we start today?" And we did.

When he first opened the book, he was a little dismayed. "I thought the writing would be bigger," he said. But he pushed on, helped by using a book mark under the line to keep his place. We read two pages the first day - me filling in the words he didn't know. I made/helped him 'sound out' a few of the easier words. And I was amazed by some of the words he read without pausing, like 'concentrated'. But he also got lots of quite simple words right some of the time and wrong other times, depending on context and how closely he was paying attention - he's already taken to scanning rather than looking at each word.

I thought he would probably leave it after that experience, but no - we read another page before school the next morning, and then two more that night. But the next day I went to the library and borrowed three Zac Power books - which have large print and are far more age appropriate. We started the first one that afternoon, getting through three chapters before I said 'enough', and then read the other three chapters (finishing the book), before Liam went to bed that night. He then got up before 6:30 the next morning - which was yesterday - and we could hear him out in the living room, reading it aloud again. Which he did again this morning.

We haven't started the next book yet because I've been at work since then, and he had footy training last night so we didn't have our usual before bed reading time. But I promised him we could start it tonight.

I have to say, all in all I'm a pretty proud parent. I know he's behind other kids his age in conventional school systems. But considering where he's up to in his own school program, he's really well advanced. And I can easily see that before we know it he'll be hiding his torch under his pillow at night so he doesn't have to stop reading when we tell him it's lights out time.

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*Main lesson is a Steiner concept I think. They have one long lesson a day - after morning circle time - which is called main lesson. Each main lesson topic runs for two or three weeks, and is either maths, literacy, or social science focussed. Then they have 'practice lessons' later in the day. When they have a maths main lesson, they will still have English practice lessons, but they won't learn new literacy concepts. (Of course, they also have music, handwork, German and Japanese lessons once or twice a week, as well as quite a lot of free play time & organised games time).

Group behaviour, boys and their cliques in school

Via the Twelfth Down Under Feminist Carnival, I've just been reading Andragy: CyberBullying, Feminism, Mean Girls, Queen Bees and Boys, and from there, the bit of Queen Bees and Wannabes that's online at Amazon.

Andra says of Wiseman's book:

I think that Queen Bees is a fine piece of feminist analysis, with racial and sexual prejudices opened up as well. Wiseman points out that she works equally with boys and girls, and that society's definition of masculinity influences boys away from strength, individuality and towards violence, bullying and groups in the same way that definitions of femininity trap girls.

I'd love to read a similar book about boys (though I note from the TOC of Queen Bees that there is a chapter on boys, and I have requested it from my local library). I do feel that ever since Liam began school the influence towards violence and group behaviour has certainly been growing.

He still does plenty of lovely creative play,* plays with girls as well as boys and so on. And I love his teacher and think she is working really well with them to teach them to be courteous, that making sure everyone gets a go is more important than winning a game etc. But the cliques seem to be forming, the popular children and less popular children are finding their places.

And I am starting to feel that I need more information. Liam is a boy, which I plainly am not. And also, he seems to be quite popular. Which, it might surprise you to know, I already was not by his age. I wasn't the lowest of the low at any time, but I was below the middle, right through until the end of year 10.**

So I'm not entirely sure how to teach him to - well, to be nice. To not fall in with group behaviour which is mean to others. To stick up for children who need support. Andra quotes Wiseman:

Boys and men who speak out against sexism or publicly support girls and women run the risk of being ridiculed by their peers as "fags", "sissies", "pussies" or in some circles "sensitive new age guys".

This is the sort of message I am afraid Liam might be picking up from his friend 'Craig'. That being kind, wearing a beany, playing co-operatively etc might may him some kind of 'sissy' (a word I would hope he's never heard, but I'm probably kidding myself), and that there's something wrong with that.

Any book recommendations for me?
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*Am I showing my biases here?
** Year 11 & 12 is at a different school in Canberra, and quite a different experience - for which I was extremely grateful.

A parenting dilemma: bad influences and all that jazz

I think I must be a real parent now. I am stuck with my first real parenting dilemma.*

Liam has made friends - best buddies type friends - with one of the two kids in his class I would really prefer he wasn't friends with at all. I am going to call this friend Craig. Craig is not a bad kid - it could be a LOT worse. He can even be quite charming, in a ratbag sort of way. But he's quite aggressive, doesn't seem very clear about personal boundaries (by which I mean, has no idea, even for a seven year old), appears to watch a lot of the sort of television I would not let Liam near (though this is self reported so may not be true - but he certainly knows a lot about the shows and movies he talks about), and, did I mention quite aggressive?

I think the main thing that concerns me is that Liam seems to be strongly influenced by this kid. Some minor examples: for a while he didn't want to wear his beany to school, because Craig didn't wear one; he won't have bananas with his lunch any more because Craig doesn't eat them. More major issues is the increase in aggressive behaviour in him this year, and particularly in name calling and yelling. I can't, of course, put that all down to his friendship with Craig. Some of it may be the change in environment from the very protected kinder space to class one, some of it may be age appropriate. And there could be other factors I haven't thought of.

I also think Liam is a bit intimidated by him. One day he told me he didn't want to go to school after he'd been off sick for a couple of days, because Craig would yell at him, when asking him where he'd been. Liam *loves* school so I took that quite seriously. I told Liam we could talk to his teacher about it when we got there, so that's what we did. But, first we had to shake off Craig. He really likes Liam, and grabs him (sometimes metaphorically, sometimes not) as soon as we get there - or more often as soon as he gets there. But even though he likes Liam, he can be quite belittling towards him as well.

On this occasion Craig was there first, so he followed Liam into the classroom, where we went to deposit Liam's lunch and then to find his teacher, Margie. I was able to indicate to her that I would like to talk to her, but without Craig around, so she directed him to take down his chair and put his bag away (outside), while she led me and Liam into the little kitchen that comes off the classroom. Craig more or less ignored her and tried to follow. I was bringing up the rear, so I was the one who had to firmly tell him "No, I need to talk to Margie. Sit in your chair," and basically closed the door in his face.

Before I even told her what we were there for, Margie asked me if I'd had many prior dealings with Craig - she said he needs that sort of firm handling, firm boundaries set, but that some parents are intimidated by him and let him walk all over them. I hadn't had much to do with him, but enough I guess!

I asked a teacher-friend for advice, and she suggested nurturing relationships with other kids in the class who we like - remember, he is going to be in this class for seven years - having playdates with them, and avoiding playdates with Craig. So that's what I'm planning to do, as much as possible.

I guess my dilemma comes from the fact that I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. I mean, someone has to play with this kid. And if all the parents with - okay, I'm not sure how to say this without it coming across as completely egotistical, but what I'm trying to say is: this boy could end up being a troubled teen. He could. And if all more involved, boundary-providing parents discourage their kids from playing with him, who is he going to end up with?

Look, I have no idea if Liam would be a 'good influence' on him in the long run. But he might be. On the other hand, Craig might be a horrible influence on Liam. Already, I don't like the effects. What would you do? Or what have you done?

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*First one that springs to mind with my virus-befuddled brain, anyway.

Spiral Walk

I was getting frustrated with facebook not posting my (admittedly long) status update, when it suddenly dawned on me - I should write a blog post about this, not a status update!

I went to the 'spiral walk' at school today - a beautiful reverential ritual involving nearly 60 six- and seven-year-old children with candles, slow marching in time to harp music in and out of a spiral of ivy and red camellias: in the near dark and almost complete silence (except for the music). Wonderful.

Edited to add pic and detail:

This is a picture of the spiral the kids walked around before the lights were turned off (and the kids brought in). They walked into the middle to light their candles, then out again while other kids were still on their way in. There were red camellias placed at about each metre along the ivy, and on their way out they placed their candles next to the camellias, so that by the time they had all gone through, it was a spiral of candles as well as ivy. It looked fantastic.

Once they all came out of the spiral they sat down in the far corner of the room, and one of the teachers told them a story, all still by candle light.

Chris didn't come because he had Kaely (they asked us not to bring toddlers because of the need for quiet for a long period - the whole thing went for about an hour). Liam said to Chris tonight "I wish you could have seen the candles, it was so beautiful."

[It is true, twitter and facebook have at least as much to answer for, in terms of my lack of blogging, as work and study do. But that's a whole nother post.]

Two mums *and* two dads - how cool is that?

This is a random conversation we had in the car on Saturday. Not sure where it came from, as we hadn't been talking about J or his family.

Liam: Does J have two dads?

Me: Yeah he does.

Chris: How lucky is that - two mums and two dads?

Liam: Yeah!

(J lives in California with his Mum, my best friend, and his Mama, my best friend's wife. His bio-Dad is also an important, involved person in his life, and since he is also married (though not legally - they don't live in the right state for that) J has two Dads as well.)

I've blogged about this before, but it bothers me how little real diversity Liam sees in his day to day life, particularly with regard to sexuality and family styles. And what bothers me too is how I have failed to offset the reality of the dominant culture he lives in by providing non-dominant role models in books. Because the fact is, that while we have some books (at least one anyway) with two mums, and others with only one mum or one dad (none with two dads I think), and quite a few with people of colour, and we borrow others from the library from time to time, there are scads and scads and scads of books - both in our house and in the library - with one mum, one dad, three kids, all white.

And at school almost all Liam's friends have a mum and a dad, living together. A few (and no doubt this will increase with time) live with their Mum and see Dad on weekends. Most of them are white, though not all. Most of the Dads work full-time. Many of the Mum's work part-time, while many are SAHMs. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with stay-at-home mum's - or dads - Chris and I would both like to be them! It's just that I want Liam to see that there are options. That there is not one right way to be or to live.

Anyway, this is a bit of a rave with little focus, but I'm on my lunch break at work blogging a day late (in Australia, but it's still the 1st in much of the world) for Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2009. And this is where the that conversation with Liam took me. Any recommendations for books with different family structures, particularly books with two mums or two dads where that's not seen as a big deal - just a general background feature of life - much appreciated. Anything from picture books for Mikaela, who is nearly three, to chapter books to read to Liam, who is seven.

Is this normal, or is it something special about Orana?

I love Liam's school. Especially in this beautiful autumn weather.  In the mornings at drop-off Kaely and I walk down with Liam, and hang around for a while.*

This morning we got to school about 8:40 and left at 9:15. I chatted with other kids and parents while Mikaela played in the sand, in the various kid-built 'cubbies', on a log. Once the big kids went inside I stood in the sun pushing Kaely in the cloth 'swing',** which she loves above all else at school.

This afternoon, if it's nice, I'll take a picnic afternoon tea and we'll probably stay at school until about 4pm. There may be other kids and parents about, or there may not, but either way we'll enjoy this autumn weather while it lasts.

Are other schools like this? Or is it something particular about Orana - or about Steiner schools - which makes them such lovely and welcoming places to spend time?

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*Very occasionally I drop Liam off without coming down from the carpark to his class - at his request - but when I do I usually feel a little bereft. He really wants to start taking the bus to school, but I'm not quite ready for that yet.
**This is a swing made out of a very large piece of material which has three ends tied to a horizontal poll. Little kids like Mikaela can climb right inside it, bigger kids make sort of a scoop seat for themselves with their legs hanging out.

"I want to puke in the bucket"

The first thing Liam told me when I got home from work just now was how he puked (on himself and on a shop floor) a couple of times today from coughing. I then got him a bucket, since I've come home to find him sitting on the couch watching TV, still coughing incessantly.

Mikaela: Is Liam going to puke in that?
Me: Hopefully not.
Kaely: I will puke in it too.
Me: Why don't you and I not puke at all.
Kaely: No, I want to puke. I want to puke in the bucket.

Liam, after his first day in class one

Liam "Hi Mum. When do I start after school care?"
Me "You don't."
Liam "Well, can I?"

Whirlwind week in Melbourne

I've just been in Melbourne for a week, and would love to blog it all properly, but when is there time?

We hadn't been down there as a family for four years, and sometimes it seems like we have more friends in Melbourne than we do here, so it was a bit of a hectic week. I would have liked to stay for longer, but when you are imposing on friends with your two children - well, it's a whole different thing to when you could just crash on the couch without much impact. So a week seemed about the limit. Not to mention that we had someone house- dog-, cat- and chicken-sitting for us, and they had to leave yesterday.

Anyway, during the week we managed to get to Scienceworks, with the family with whom we stayed, swim in the Yarra with some other friends who live out at Kangaroo Ground, tour the Children's Garden at the botanic gardens with a friend we stayed with for a month back when Liam was a baby and who now has a two year old of her own (and I highly recommend the gardens to anyone with youngish kids, but take a change of clothes and a towel!), have a picnic with a friend, a play & a coffee in Fitzroy Gardens with Chris's brother and partner, and brunch at a lovely cafe out at Belgrave with my sister and family. We also got to spend quite a bit of time with my sister and her new baby, and of course with the people with whom we stayed. They have a Liam too (although theirs is ten), and while there was a little friction towards the end (our Liam got upset and felt forgotten when their Liam had a sleepover with another friend), they got along really well, and ten-year-old Liam was very sweet to six-year-old Liam, especially when he realised about the forgotten feeling.

It was very hot though. Maybe next time we do Melbourne we should pick a different time of year, we always seem to be there in Summer.

Liam's experiment

Liam's been asking me if he could do an experiment. This is his 'recipe':

4 cornflakes
1 tsp breadcrumbs
2 tbsp rolled oats
water

Instructions: put it all in the blender and blend.

I put him off for a couple of weeks, cause he always asked at bad times (like when we were about to have dinner). But finally on Sunday I let him do it.

He ended up with about 2 tbsp of cornflakes because that was the end of the packet, but the rest he did as written. After he'd given it a good blend, added some more water and blended again, I could see him wondering what to do next - it was pretty disappointing really, as experiments go. Over very quickly, and nothing happened except that it got all mushed.

So I asked him "What do you want to do with it? Are you going to eat it, or feed it to the chickens or Lochie, or do you want to cook it maybe?" He said he wanted to cook it, and, after some consideration, decided to do so in a saucepan.

As he was stirring it and it was becoming more solid, we talked about how it was a bit like porridge really, so he decided to eat it with some milk and (at my suggestion) some of the apricot and apple sauce I'd just made. He only took half - thought he'd save the rest of Kaely (it went to the chooks, in fact) - but he ate it all and said it was yum. It wasn't bad actually, with the apricot sauce.

Making apricot jam plus bonus apricot & apple sauce recipe

Yesterday we went to a friend's house and brought back three large bags of apricots. I've never made jam of any sort before, and it turned out to be pretty easy. Liam was keen to get started quickly, so we made a batch yesterday afternoon.

Another friend told me that the secret to apricot jam is to use equal parts apricots and sugar (by weight). She also told me to google it, which I did and which told me to add about 1/2 cup of water, some lemon juice (in fact I added a whole half lemon and the juice of the other half) and a few apricot kernals. Liam had fun bashing the stone with a hammer to get those out.

I think it's actually a bit sweet, so I think I'll try it with a a little less sugar for the next batch - I might even follow one of the many many recipes that came up when I googled 'simple apricot jam'. But it was still pretty cool to be putting away 6 jars of jam last night, plus a 7th half jar into the fridge. Liam thinks it's delicious!

Today, for variation, I made apricot sauce. Another friend mentioned using mint and lemon and a little sugar, so I made up my own recipe using those, plus apple. It was:

About 700g halved apricots
About 400g chopped apples (picked from another friend's tree)
About 200g sugar (could use less)
1 small lemon, peeled (from our garden)
About 1/3 cup water (ie about 80-100ml - I didn't actually measure it)
Some mint (from my mum's garden) - about 1 tbs chopped maybe? I didn't measure the mint either, and I didn't chop the leaves up, but it would have been better chopped.
2 apricot kernals

Basically combine, bring to the boil, and boil or simmer until soft.
Then blend it up (I used a stick blender directly in the saucepan, but you could transfer to a blender. Obviously if you want to bottle it you'd then need to reboil it for sterility.

I didn't make that much, cause I wanted to try out the recipe and see how it went, so I couldn't be bothered bottling it. I've put half in the fridge which I expect we'll use in a couple of days (on ice cream, for instance), and the other half in the freezer. I don't know that much about preserving stuff - like whether that would be enough sugar to preserve it, or whether you don't in fact need much sugar as long as you do the whole boiling the jars, filling and sealing while hot thing.

My Dad told me that his gran used to melt wax and use it to fill about 1/2 cm in the top of the jar to seal it properly. I think I'm going to try that with the next batch. I wonder if it needs to be bees wax? If regular parafin wax would be poisoning?

Anyway, it worked out to be really yummy. The mint flavour is definitely a nice touch.

 

Things I would be blogging about if I wasn't so tired...

• Web 2.0 in government - it is fun to be getting to be part of this conversation (in my work, not on my blog - because of the tiredness y'see). Interesting post from Lindsay Tanner (and some interesting comments) on his blog at fairfax digital.
• Funny things Mikaela is saying these days - like how she says 'Munooz' for both muesli and music. I keep meaning to record all this for the 'baby book', but I am not doing very well lately.
• How Liam thinks he is going to be Joseph in his school nativity play on Friday morning - he's pretty sure, he says, because he was Joseph again in the practice today and he can carry the candle really straight. This is a sweet little play they do in kindergarten where all the kids sing the whole thing, but some kids also have 'parts', while others are the angels who file in around the outside. It lasts for maybe ten minutes (including the procession in), and then we all get morning tea and school is over for the year.
• The vegie garden, which is finally starting to look like one - we are picking silverbeet and snow peas and stacks of parsley and will very soon be picking zucchinis and cherry tomatoes as well.
• How Liam decided he wanted to get involved in the garden and so he has his own little patch in which we (he and I together) have planted potatos and cucumbers (I know, not really a match companion planting-wise, but they were two things we hadn't been able to fit into the main garden).
• Our littlest Silky chook who has (I think) Mareks disease, which I am treating with, I kid you not, a mix of cranberries, brazil nuts, garlic, plus to drink pomegranate juice and gatorade. I got it from a chook forum (okay, I'll find the link... Backyard Poultry forum), and it seems to be helping.
• Out new car, which we've converted to run on LPG which I'm pretty sure is a good thing (and was helped by a $2000 government rebate) (but how we have to hurry up and sell the old one so I don't get into the habit of driving to work like I did today).
• How hungry I am right now
• But how I need to go to bed and so I think food - and more blogging - will have to wait for another day.
• g'night.

Permanent agri/culture is permanent!

Liam had a playdate at a friend's house on Friday afternoon. When I got there the friend's mother was telling me some of the nice/funny things that had happened - like Liam singing the whole of 'Mean to Me' (by Crowded House) with full rock 'n' roll effects and no selfconciousness. (He's learned it by listening to and watching live versions, like the Farewell to the World concert, so he puts in all the extra bits.)

Another thing was when she asked him about permaculture - what it was. His answer? He didn't really know exactly, but he coud tell her it was permanent. And it used potting mix. And was natural.

Siblings

Up until recently Liam and Mikaela played pretty well together. Which is to say, Liam tolerated Mikaela amazingly well, and never really seemed to resent her.

All that has changed in the past couple-few months. They still play nicely some of the time, but Liam is getting increasingly frustrated with Mikaela. With her not doing what he wants, with her wanting to follow him and do the same thing as him all the time, and with her wanting to (gasp) share his mother. Actually, she doesn't want to share me, she wants to own me.

"Mine," she says, when Liam wants me. And heaven forbid he should sit on my lap for a cuddle. That gets her completely riled.

Hmm, I'm starting to see where his general frustration might be coming from.

It saddens me though, because until now they've been so lovely together so much of the time. Sometimes they still are, but there is a lot of - basically meanness - from Liam towards Kaely now as well. I hope it's a passing phase, but what I suspect is that it will settle down, but it won't go away completely. Not until they are adults who've had years of therapy to work out all their deep seated problems.

Meditations for kids

Following a post from Trish a while ago at Imperfect Parent, I borrowed a book from the library called Meditations for Kids, by Kids. It's not the book Trish was talking about (which was The Wishing Star: Meditations for Children) - they didn't have that one in the library. But I liked the idea of reading a meditation with Liam each night before he went to sleep, so I thought I'd try the one they did have.

It's been a good experience. We've been right through the book once, and are half way through again. Sometimes Chris reads him a meditation after Liam and I have finished our 'book & chat' time and I have gone off to nurse Kaely and put her to bed in our room. Or sometimes if Liam is still awake when I've got Kaely down, I read him one then.

Each of the meditations is written by one of four kids in a family. The youngest was, I think, four at the time of writing (he's only got one or two in there) and the oldest was about ten (she has a lot). They all have the same basic structure - you go into your peaceful garden, hang your worries on the worry tree, take a few deep breaths, let go etc. - and they tend to have lots of comments about being safe and loved.   In the middle of that, some are rather quirky. But all are engaging, as far as Liam is concerned. One includes a dolphin ride into the quiet depths of the water. Another involves Pixies. Many involve friendly talking animals.

At first Liam said he wasn't going to 'do' the meditation, he just wanted to listen. Now he tends to close his eyes as he listens and take the deep breaths when instructed, but he still often bounces up at the end to ask for another one. Recently when he did that I told him the idea was to stay relaxed afterwards and let himself drift off to sleep. I don't know if he took that to heart, because I haven't read him one since then, but last night after our goodnight kiss and cuddle he said "I think I could just lie here and drift off to sleep now," so maybe he did take it in. Either way, I think we'll keep up the habit of bedtime meditations. It's a soothing way to end the day (and lets face it, the pre-bedtime part of the end of the day is usually anything by soothing), and I like the idea of Liam gradually developing the skills of mediation, or at least of relaxation.  It's something we could all do with more of.

From Hi-5 to Finn Brothers - which would you prefer?

One of the great things about having a six-year-old child, as opposed to a four-year-old, is the music.

When Mikaela was born Liam was right in the middle of an obsession with a single Hi-5 CD, which lasted several months. We heard that album over and over and over again. So did my mum and step-dad. Poor Mikaela, it was her main introduction to the world of music!

But later that year, he has developed a taste for adult music.

In quick succession, Liam decided he liked Indigo Girls, Crowded House, Victoria Stanborough, Tori Amos and others. His latest craze is with the Finn Brothers (Neil & Tim Finn).

There is a down side to this, which is that we are 'forced' to listen to the same albums and some times the same songs, over and over, before he gets sidetracked by something else and moves on. For instance, he's been in love with one of the Finn Brothers' albums now for several weeks, and so while I occasionally manage to get something else into the car CD player, that one CD has been in their on repeat for most of that time. And it's only a relatively recent preference for Liam. Even one's favourite music can eventually get worn out under those circumstances, but on the other hand - it's still better than listening to Hi-5!

The sound of metal on metal

We were very nearly in a car accident yesterday.

I was driving down the Parkway (freeway, speed limit 100kph, two lanes each way), on the way to drop Liam at school. It was raining, though not hard, and the traffic was slow. Up ahead I noticed a car swerve into the left hand (slow) lane, perhaps thinking that we were going to have to merge anyway, if there was an accident up ahead, but then a few cars later it swerved back into the - now slightly faster - right lane. Why people do this is a mystery to me. It simply cannot make that much difference to how quickly you get where you're going, and frankly, it's dangerous. My suspicion is that someone doing exactly that is what caused the accident we weren't quite in.

Traffic was slow, as I said, but still moving along okay. I would guess no accident up ahead, just Canberra drivers in the rain. The brake lights of the car in front of me came on, so I gently slowed also. Then I realised there was nothing gently about the slowing, the traffic was almost coming to a stop suddenly. So I put my brakes on significantly harder. Luckily tailgating is a pet peeve of mine, so I had plenty of room. It did cross my mind though, as I quickly slowed, to hope that the driver behind me was paying attention. She was. Unfortunately the driver behind her either wasn't, or hadn't left enough room.

There was a thunk and a crunch and as I glanced into my rear view mirror I saw the car once-removed behind me bouncing off the one immediately behind. I think the rest of the traffic managed to steer clear, and both cars were moving off the road, even as I was wondering if I should stop, and realising that I couldn't, being in the right hand lane and already moving on.

I hope no one was hurt. I told Liam - who had clearly heard the accident, though not seen anything - that they seemed to be okay, as they were both able to drive off the road, but of course, I don't really know.

It really drove home for me how easy it is to be in an accident. I mean, I never have been (touching wood as I type) and I've never even seen one happen before. Though once, as Chris and I were heading down to Melbourne in the driving raining, a car spun out of control on the other side of the road, spun onto the median strip, and looked very likely to spin off it right into our path. But didn't. The driver managed to get control finally, just before he hit our side of the road.

But that's just it. In either of those cases, there was nothing we could really do. Certainly for the driver behind me yesterday, she did everything right, but still, someone crunched into the back of her.

Last year one time Liam accidentally peed in his car seat, and the next day (while the cover was drying) I let him sit in the middle seat with just a lap belt, just to drive across the suburb. I went at 40kph the whole way. A few weeks later I read of a girl - about four or five I think, I can't quite remember - who was in a car accident driving in a school (40) zone. She was only wearing a lap belt too. And she died, of internal injuries caused by the belt. I've never let Liam do that again. And I know, it's highly unlikely to happen, but the thing is, sometimes accidents do happen, and you can't actually control the when.