narrating kayoz

Reading with Liam

"When can I read the first Harry Potter book?" Liam asked me the other day.

"When you can read it yourself," I said. Of course, he immediately claimed that he can read it himself in his head, now. Which I know to be untrue. So I amended "When you can read it out loud to me, then."

Now, they don't really start reading books until class two at Orana. In class one (where Liam is now) they learn to write, and they read only what they have written (or what their teacher writes on the board). They haven't done much in the way of phonics yet, although they have learned about the 'magic e' that sits silently at the end of words and makes the preceding vowel long. And they have learned about sentences, pausing (for a count of three no less) after every full stop. I think they'll be learning about 'blends' - 'st', 'tr' 'sh' etc - in their next English main lesson* (at the moment they are in a math main lesson).

So when I said "when you can read it to me", I really meant "maybe next year". However, Liam's response was "Yay, can we start today?" And we did.

When he first opened the book, he was a little dismayed. "I thought the writing would be bigger," he said. But he pushed on, helped by using a book mark under the line to keep his place. We read two pages the first day - me filling in the words he didn't know. I made/helped him 'sound out' a few of the easier words. And I was amazed by some of the words he read without pausing, like 'concentrated'. But he also got lots of quite simple words right some of the time and wrong other times, depending on context and how closely he was paying attention - he's already taken to scanning rather than looking at each word.

I thought he would probably leave it after that experience, but no - we read another page before school the next morning, and then two more that night. But the next day I went to the library and borrowed three Zac Power books - which have large print and are far more age appropriate. We started the first one that afternoon, getting through three chapters before I said 'enough', and then read the other three chapters (finishing the book), before Liam went to bed that night. He then got up before 6:30 the next morning - which was yesterday - and we could hear him out in the living room, reading it aloud again. Which he did again this morning.

We haven't started the next book yet because I've been at work since then, and he had footy training last night so we didn't have our usual before bed reading time. But I promised him we could start it tonight.

I have to say, all in all I'm a pretty proud parent. I know he's behind other kids his age in conventional school systems. But considering where he's up to in his own school program, he's really well advanced. And I can easily see that before we know it he'll be hiding his torch under his pillow at night so he doesn't have to stop reading when we tell him it's lights out time.

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*Main lesson is a Steiner concept I think. They have one long lesson a day - after morning circle time - which is called main lesson. Each main lesson topic runs for two or three weeks, and is either maths, literacy, or social science focussed. Then they have 'practice lessons' later in the day. When they have a maths main lesson, they will still have English practice lessons, but they won't learn new literacy concepts. (Of course, they also have music, handwork, German and Japanese lessons once or twice a week, as well as quite a lot of free play time & organised games time).

Group behaviour, boys and their cliques in school

Via the Twelfth Down Under Feminist Carnival, I've just been reading Andragy: CyberBullying, Feminism, Mean Girls, Queen Bees and Boys, and from there, the bit of Queen Bees and Wannabes that's online at Amazon.

Andra says of Wiseman's book:

I think that Queen Bees is a fine piece of feminist analysis, with racial and sexual prejudices opened up as well. Wiseman points out that she works equally with boys and girls, and that society's definition of masculinity influences boys away from strength, individuality and towards violence, bullying and groups in the same way that definitions of femininity trap girls.

I'd love to read a similar book about boys (though I note from the TOC of Queen Bees that there is a chapter on boys, and I have requested it from my local library). I do feel that ever since Liam began school the influence towards violence and group behaviour has certainly been growing.

He still does plenty of lovely creative play,* plays with girls as well as boys and so on. And I love his teacher and think she is working really well with them to teach them to be courteous, that making sure everyone gets a go is more important than winning a game etc. But the cliques seem to be forming, the popular children and less popular children are finding their places.

And I am starting to feel that I need more information. Liam is a boy, which I plainly am not. And also, he seems to be quite popular. Which, it might surprise you to know, I already was not by his age. I wasn't the lowest of the low at any time, but I was below the middle, right through until the end of year 10.**

So I'm not entirely sure how to teach him to - well, to be nice. To not fall in with group behaviour which is mean to others. To stick up for children who need support. Andra quotes Wiseman:

Boys and men who speak out against sexism or publicly support girls and women run the risk of being ridiculed by their peers as "fags", "sissies", "pussies" or in some circles "sensitive new age guys".

This is the sort of message I am afraid Liam might be picking up from his friend 'Craig'. That being kind, wearing a beany, playing co-operatively etc might may him some kind of 'sissy' (a word I would hope he's never heard, but I'm probably kidding myself), and that there's something wrong with that.

Any book recommendations for me?
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*Am I showing my biases here?
** Year 11 & 12 is at a different school in Canberra, and quite a different experience - for which I was extremely grateful.

A parenting dilemma: bad influences and all that jazz

I think I must be a real parent now. I am stuck with my first real parenting dilemma.*

Liam has made friends - best buddies type friends - with one of the two kids in his class I would really prefer he wasn't friends with at all. I am going to call this friend Craig. Craig is not a bad kid - it could be a LOT worse. He can even be quite charming, in a ratbag sort of way. But he's quite aggressive, doesn't seem very clear about personal boundaries (by which I mean, has no idea, even for a seven year old), appears to watch a lot of the sort of television I would not let Liam near (though this is self reported so may not be true - but he certainly knows a lot about the shows and movies he talks about), and, did I mention quite aggressive?

I think the main thing that concerns me is that Liam seems to be strongly influenced by this kid. Some minor examples: for a while he didn't want to wear his beany to school, because Craig didn't wear one; he won't have bananas with his lunch any more because Craig doesn't eat them. More major issues is the increase in aggressive behaviour in him this year, and particularly in name calling and yelling. I can't, of course, put that all down to his friendship with Craig. Some of it may be the change in environment from the very protected kinder space to class one, some of it may be age appropriate. And there could be other factors I haven't thought of.

I also think Liam is a bit intimidated by him. One day he told me he didn't want to go to school after he'd been off sick for a couple of days, because Craig would yell at him, when asking him where he'd been. Liam *loves* school so I took that quite seriously. I told Liam we could talk to his teacher about it when we got there, so that's what we did. But, first we had to shake off Craig. He really likes Liam, and grabs him (sometimes metaphorically, sometimes not) as soon as we get there - or more often as soon as he gets there. But even though he likes Liam, he can be quite belittling towards him as well.

On this occasion Craig was there first, so he followed Liam into the classroom, where we went to deposit Liam's lunch and then to find his teacher, Margie. I was able to indicate to her that I would like to talk to her, but without Craig around, so she directed him to take down his chair and put his bag away (outside), while she led me and Liam into the little kitchen that comes off the classroom. Craig more or less ignored her and tried to follow. I was bringing up the rear, so I was the one who had to firmly tell him "No, I need to talk to Margie. Sit in your chair," and basically closed the door in his face.

Before I even told her what we were there for, Margie asked me if I'd had many prior dealings with Craig - she said he needs that sort of firm handling, firm boundaries set, but that some parents are intimidated by him and let him walk all over them. I hadn't had much to do with him, but enough I guess!

I asked a teacher-friend for advice, and she suggested nurturing relationships with other kids in the class who we like - remember, he is going to be in this class for seven years - having playdates with them, and avoiding playdates with Craig. So that's what I'm planning to do, as much as possible.

I guess my dilemma comes from the fact that I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. I mean, someone has to play with this kid. And if all the parents with - okay, I'm not sure how to say this without it coming across as completely egotistical, but what I'm trying to say is: this boy could end up being a troubled teen. He could. And if all more involved, boundary-providing parents discourage their kids from playing with him, who is he going to end up with?

Look, I have no idea if Liam would be a 'good influence' on him in the long run. But he might be. On the other hand, Craig might be a horrible influence on Liam. Already, I don't like the effects. What would you do? Or what have you done?

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*First one that springs to mind with my virus-befuddled brain, anyway.

Spiral Walk

I was getting frustrated with facebook not posting my (admittedly long) status update, when it suddenly dawned on me - I should write a blog post about this, not a status update!

I went to the 'spiral walk' at school today - a beautiful reverential ritual involving nearly 60 six- and seven-year-old children with candles, slow marching in time to harp music in and out of a spiral of ivy and red camellias: in the near dark and almost complete silence (except for the music). Wonderful.

Edited to add pic and detail:

This is a picture of the spiral the kids walked around before the lights were turned off (and the kids brought in). They walked into the middle to light their candles, then out again while other kids were still on their way in. There were red camellias placed at about each metre along the ivy, and on their way out they placed their candles next to the camellias, so that by the time they had all gone through, it was a spiral of candles as well as ivy. It looked fantastic.

Once they all came out of the spiral they sat down in the far corner of the room, and one of the teachers told them a story, all still by candle light.

Chris didn't come because he had Kaely (they asked us not to bring toddlers because of the need for quiet for a long period - the whole thing went for about an hour). Liam said to Chris tonight "I wish you could have seen the candles, it was so beautiful."

[It is true, twitter and facebook have at least as much to answer for, in terms of my lack of blogging, as work and study do. But that's a whole nother post.]

Is this normal, or is it something special about Orana?

I love Liam's school. Especially in this beautiful autumn weather.  In the mornings at drop-off Kaely and I walk down with Liam, and hang around for a while.*

This morning we got to school about 8:40 and left at 9:15. I chatted with other kids and parents while Mikaela played in the sand, in the various kid-built 'cubbies', on a log. Once the big kids went inside I stood in the sun pushing Kaely in the cloth 'swing',** which she loves above all else at school.

This afternoon, if it's nice, I'll take a picnic afternoon tea and we'll probably stay at school until about 4pm. There may be other kids and parents about, or there may not, but either way we'll enjoy this autumn weather while it lasts.

Are other schools like this? Or is it something particular about Orana - or about Steiner schools - which makes them such lovely and welcoming places to spend time?

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*Very occasionally I drop Liam off without coming down from the carpark to his class - at his request - but when I do I usually feel a little bereft. He really wants to start taking the bus to school, but I'm not quite ready for that yet.
**This is a swing made out of a very large piece of material which has three ends tied to a horizontal poll. Little kids like Mikaela can climb right inside it, bigger kids make sort of a scoop seat for themselves with their legs hanging out.

TV free month is almost over (and why I am not writing anyway)

We've just about finished a month with no TV (officially it ends at midnight on Sunday), and I have to admit, in some ways it was pretty much a failed experiment.

Some of the things I thought/hoped would happen were:

1. We'd see an improvement in kid behaviour - this was probably the biggest leap, but I really hoped it might work. On the other hand, in terms of it's experimental value we didn't really do it at the right time, since it coincided with school going back and Liam starting class one, which I think has been fairly exhausting for him, despite how much he likes it.
2. I would write more - if not 'real' writing, then at least surely in the blog.
3. We would have more s-x.
4. We would go to bed earlier.
5. The kids would get out of the habit of asking for TV all the time (a very bad habit that developed during the holidays for a number of reasons)
6. I would get out of the habit of using the TV to give me a rest (from parenting) too often.

I think number five was the only one that really worked. The kids definitely did get out of the habit, and Liam in particularly was hardly bothered by it at all -then again, he is used to the no TV on school days rule, since we implemented it at the end of 2007, with his approval. So again, as an experiment the timing was bad.

On the other hand we didn't really do it for it's experimental value, so much as to achieve numbers four and five, because we'd been doing those things way too much in the holidays. And we did achieve those, but there were still lots of times when I desperately wanted to put it on just to give me a break, so I think I will still need to work at being strict with myself after this weekend.

The other way in which the timing sucked was in that I have started working on a new project at work, moreorless on top of my normal work. So although I only work two and half days a week (for money anyway!), on my two full days I've been doing ten or eleven hours and more each day. And the funny part about that is I really haven't been doing that much extra on the new project, but my normal work has happily eaten into the extra time.

I don't really mind the extra work. If I did I wouldn't be doing it. But I can see that I am going to have to be a bit careful about it. For one thing I think Chris and the kids are getting sick of me missing dinner and bedtime. Also, uni starts back this coming week.

For another thing, I have done (virtually) no writing all month.

And for another, I am tired.

Of course, that could be because I've been awake since four o'clock this morning. Thanks kids

Mikaela on school

Everyday this week there was a 'parent cafe' from school drop-off until midday, in what used to be a kindergarten room & playground (now used for playgroups, craft group etc).

We went there are drop-off on both Tuesday and Wednesday. On Thursday after dropping Liam off at his classroom, Kaely said very hopefully "My class now?"

At the beginning of the week Mikaela was very determined that she was going to school with Liam, but was placated by going to a 'playground' (at the parent cafe). Now she's convinced that that's her class, and I fear is going to be sorely disappointed next week, when there is no cafe on.

Liam, after his first day in class one

Liam "Hi Mum. When do I start after school care?"
Me "You don't."
Liam "Well, can I?"

Things I would be blogging about if I wasn't so tired...

• Web 2.0 in government - it is fun to be getting to be part of this conversation (in my work, not on my blog - because of the tiredness y'see). Interesting post from Lindsay Tanner (and some interesting comments) on his blog at fairfax digital.
• Funny things Mikaela is saying these days - like how she says 'Munooz' for both muesli and music. I keep meaning to record all this for the 'baby book', but I am not doing very well lately.
• How Liam thinks he is going to be Joseph in his school nativity play on Friday morning - he's pretty sure, he says, because he was Joseph again in the practice today and he can carry the candle really straight. This is a sweet little play they do in kindergarten where all the kids sing the whole thing, but some kids also have 'parts', while others are the angels who file in around the outside. It lasts for maybe ten minutes (including the procession in), and then we all get morning tea and school is over for the year.
• The vegie garden, which is finally starting to look like one - we are picking silverbeet and snow peas and stacks of parsley and will very soon be picking zucchinis and cherry tomatoes as well.
• How Liam decided he wanted to get involved in the garden and so he has his own little patch in which we (he and I together) have planted potatos and cucumbers (I know, not really a match companion planting-wise, but they were two things we hadn't been able to fit into the main garden).
• Our littlest Silky chook who has (I think) Mareks disease, which I am treating with, I kid you not, a mix of cranberries, brazil nuts, garlic, plus to drink pomegranate juice and gatorade. I got it from a chook forum (okay, I'll find the link... Backyard Poultry forum), and it seems to be helping.
• Out new car, which we've converted to run on LPG which I'm pretty sure is a good thing (and was helped by a $2000 government rebate) (but how we have to hurry up and sell the old one so I don't get into the habit of driving to work like I did today).
• How hungry I am right now
• But how I need to go to bed and so I think food - and more blogging - will have to wait for another day.
• g'night.

The lovely Orana

We went on a primary school* tour** at Orana yesterday, and oh, it made us wish we'd gone to school there. The hand work they do, the languages and the music, even the academic subjects - it all seemed so wonderful.

In the handwork department, they start finger and french knitting in kindy - Liam can already do those. Then they move on to knitting (plain stitch) and basic sewing in class one, and make themselves a lovely craft bag. They also, I believe, make their own knitting needles. As the classes go on they learn more complicated knitting, following patterns, different stitches and so on (I know they make socks at some point and a beanie at another point by I don't remember when). They also learn embroidery and I think crochet maybe? And felting and fabric painting. And then from class six they start woodwork, which is compulsory through to class ten. They start out making set projects for the first two or three years (in class six they make a wooden spoon and egg - all with hand tools, though they have machines for later years), then they can start designing their own projects. They have photos of things kids have made, like chairs, tables, chests and so on, not just cutlery!

They do music all the way through, starting with recorder in class one. But you know how there are different kind of recorders? Well they learn all three kinds, in classes one, two and five respectively. In class three and four they aer busy doing violin and cello. Of course, they aren't supposed to become proficient in all these instruments, but they get an introduction, including an introduction to the relevant music theory.

They start German and Japanese language and culture studies in class one (though they don't start reading and writing in those languages until class four, initially it's mostly just playing games and stuff) and they are both continued until the end of class seven, at which point they must choose one to continue with.

Class three is the gardening and farming year, so they vegetables that year, but I think they start studying biodynamic growing in class six.

In one of the classes we went into - class six I think - they were doing a main lesson on astronomy, but the teacher explained that at this point they don't talk about things like the sun being at the centre of the solar system, they start with stuff that they can physically observe, like the angle at which the sun sets and rises and the constellations and whatnot. And one the blackboard he had drawn, and coloured in, with chalk some gorgeous pictures - that was common in lots of the classrooms actually. They use a lot of visual - and attractive - aids in the teaching. But one of the highschool maths teachers (whose daughter is in kindy with Liam) was telling us that they also want the child to be able to experience the lesson 'in their body' - even in high school maths. So she has them up and outside measure things and charting things in their trigonometry main lesson, for instance. So it's not that it's all teaching using the visual sense or anything.

In Steiner the key word for the first cycle, the first seven-ish years of life, is safety. The child needs to feel safe. The next seven years (so roughly the primary years, age seven to fourteen) the key word is beauty. And they really do focus throughout those years on making the school and all the classes beautiful.

I am not doing this school tour justice, you really need to be there to see how inspiring it all is. Suffice it to say that we were more than ever convinced that we have chosen the right school for Liam and for our family.
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*primary school=grade school
**As opposed to the kindy tour which we did before Liam started and the high school tour which we'll do at some point in th future.

Kinder chat - creative discipline

On Monday night Chris and I went to a 'kinder chat' at Liam's school, given by a kindergarten teacher, Riita, who was one of the founders of the school and has been teaching kindy there for twenty-five years.

There wasn't anything especially new, but there were a few good reminders for me. Some of them were around basic stuff like needing to have good routines, a beautiful/not chaotic environment (we fall down on that one), good food, proper amounts of sleep and so on. Others were perhaps slightly less obvious:

• This is the age of imitation. Therefore how I want Liam (and Mikaela) to be, is how I have to be. That includes how I want them to talk, how I want them to deal with anger and frustration, and whether I want them to yell (at me, at each other).
  
  • Riita said at school they talk about inside and outside voices, and when the kids yell in the classroom they say to them "That's your outside voice Johnny, it's time for your inside voice now." I've done that with Liam, but somehow I don't think we (he or I) have ever made the connection which Riita made, which is to me also having an inside voice. So I told Liam on Tuesday that I am going to try to keep to my inside voice in the house too. We'll see how I go!
• She talked about concentrating on the positive behaviours and accomplishments. As an example she said at school the children pour their own water from the jug. The only time a teacher will help is if the jug is so full it's too heavy for a child. And when they first do this, they tend to over fill and spill. Then they learn to go and get a cloth and wipe up the water. Next time they pour the water, they will often pour too little, and need more. So when the jug comes back around again the teacher will say "A half a cup is a good amount." And then, when the time comes that the child can pour half a cup successfully, they will say "Look, Johnny can pour a half a cup of water now." (Or something, I don't remember exactly, maybe she says it directly to the child, rather than in the third person.) But they don't ever comment on the times when the child pours too much or too little.
  
  • I know this is really pretty obvious stuff, but I am belabouring it a little because I realised that I am forgetting to do it. And I also notice that once I am a little cranky or impatient, if, for instance, it has taken me 20 minutes of nagging to get Liam to clean his teeth after dinner, then I am even less patient with what are merely a child's normal accidents, like squeezing out too much toothpaste from the new tube, or accidentally wiping it on a towel. Or even things that aren't accidents, like walking around the house with the toothbrush in mouth instead of standing at the sink, as per our rule. It's not an accident, but it's only a minor infringement. Yet I can become quite, quite cross about it, mostly because I am already cross from the twenty minutes of nagging. Anyway...

• Creative discipline. Riita talked also about when a child is having a tantrum (this is a kinder aged child - around 4-6 - not a one-year-old, for instance, though no doubt this approach could be modified), and how you can distract them. She suggested: You might cup your hands together around something special - maybe a gold ring, or even your watch - and you look into a small opening in your hands to see what is there. You might put your hands up to your ear and pretend your special gold ring is talking to you "Oh," you say to your ring, "I can have three wishes?" By this time the child just has to come and look to see what is inside your hands, and you might engage them in the conversation too. "well," you tell your ring, "I wish that we might go to the playground later today," or "I wish that we might go to Grandpa's house this weekend," or whatever. But mind, you then have to follow through on the wish, so that it is "true" and not just a trick.

Basically it gave us a few new ideas, but mostly some good reminders about our own modeling of the behaviour and values we would like to see in our children, and about using distraction rather than chastisement, and acknowledgement of good behaviour and successes rather than failures, as ways of discipline.

Now if only I can get better at putting it all into practice!

Crafty autumn days

Liam's school had their annual autumn picnic on Sunday. Normally I would say 'we' had it, especially since as class co-ordinator of Liam's class I was involved in some of the organisation, but actually I didn't go - I was at home trying to re-write my essay for my master's project (which is driving me up the wall at the moment, but that's a whole other post!).

The autumn picnic is usually a lovely family day, with everything from sack races to sausage sizzles to home made soup to the craft table (the organisation and running of which is job of us kindy parents). This year it turned out to be the coldest day of the season so far, but a good time was still reportedly had by all.

Liam made this gnome and gods-eye at the craft table. Someone showed him how to do blanket stitch and got him started on the gnome and he did the rest himself, and the gods-eye he did completely by himself, having made his first one at the school's Spring Fair last year.

This is one of the things I love about Orana. All the 'hand work' they do. This year Liam has mastered finger knitting and French knitting in kindergarten, he brought home a little basket his teacher sewed for him out of his finger knitting, and is now working on the French knitting - two strands of wool at once too (for both finger and French). They don't learn to write until class one (next year), but this handwork is part of the way they prepare the hands and mind for that sort of handwork. And in class one they also start 'proper' knitting. I think they start with knitting socks or something, and progress to a hat at some point (maybe in a later year though).

I was never very crafty as a child - oh I learned the basics of knitting and French knitting, but I never actually completed a project. I all but failed 'textiles' (sewing, weaving etc) in year seven. I did do a short course in sewing with stretch material when I was about 18, out of which I got a few clothes and my still very basic sewing skills. But that's about it. So I love the fact that Liam is learning some of these basics right at the beginning of school, and will continue to do so through the years.

Meanwhile I, as you know, am going to knit a dishcloth. And I'm going to attempt to make Kaely a sleeping bag. She is fast outgrowing the one she's in now, and I haven't been able to find any in op shops (thrift stores), so I put a request for a size 3 sleeping bag on freecycle,* and someone responded with the offer of a pattern, and said she may even be able come up with some old bits of fleece for me to use. So I'm going to give it a go. I may just become a handy person yet.

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*I find this a challenging part of the whole 'no shopping' compact - asking for things. A lot of stuff I haven't been able to find second hand, and while in some cases that can just mean we don't buy it, some things we really do need. Okay, true, we don't *really* need them. Mikaela could wear a couple of extra layers to bed (she won't keep blankets on yet) and we could move her to a mattress on the floor (she's not safe in the cot without the sleeping bag any more, she can climb out). But... we need them enough, if you know what I mean.

So, I decided to start asking for things on freecycle. That's the whole point, after all, of freecycle - to move things around to where they will be used. But I do find it challenging to ask for 'handouts', especially as there seems to be a general philosophy that it should be more for giving than receiving (for instance I think the rules say you can't put a WANTED on until you've put an OFFER on). So I decided that I would have to put an offer on for every wanted I put on.** Not that that's a bad thing - after all, I am also trying to declutter. But even then, I do find the asking a little confronting. See how I am going into this long explanation about how I put 'offers' on and not just 'wanteds'? I find this discover about myself sort of interesting.

** (Footnote to the footnote:) So far I've put on two wanteds and two offers and got requests for both the offers, but for the wanteds have gotten a loan (which is good actually - it's a mini tramp for Chris to work his ankle on, and we're happy to be able to give it back at the end) and the offer of advice on how to make the item. So if this goes on the decluttering could become a reality. I still need to find things to put up for offer so I can request boys size 4/5 PJs, long sleeve tops & long pants - which I am counting as three separate requests. I am sort of wishing I kept those bags of clothes I finally give to Vinnie's (charity) the other week though.

Trying to remember the effect of exhaustion on children's behaviour

Liam's in the middle of a big weekend.

Yesterday after school (which finishes at 12:30 on Fridays in the kindergarten) we had his friend R over until his Dad could come get him after work, which ended up being about 6:00. Then we up and decided to go out to dinner,  despite still being on a spending freeze, despite Liam being of course quite exhausted. I don't think Kaely's ever been out to dinner before, that's how often we do this (Liam might have been out two or three times in his life before). But she'd had a long nap - normally I wake her by 3pm to ensure an orderly bedtime, but with R here all afternoon I decided to cut myself some slack and she ended up sleeping until 4:15! - so she was fine.

Then today we had another friend, S, in the afternoon. When her mum came to get her (shortly after five) she and Liam were just about to start colouring in*, so her mum dashed off to the shops and they ended up not going till I guess fairly close to six too. We also had visits with my mum and from Chris's dad today, so it's been a social sort of day.

And finally tomorrow - forecast to be the coldest day of the season so far, truly wintry - they have the autumn picnic on at Liam's school, which is the big family event of the season. I'm not going, because it's my writing day and I only have three weekends left before it's all due in (gotta try doing a substantial re-write of the essay tomorrow). I was feeling quite sad about missing it, but now I've seen the forecast, I'm feeling sort of lucky. Chris and the kids will still go though. And I imagine they'll have lots of fun.

But, even this morning Liam was already showing signs of being tired, after his big day yesterday. By this evening he was getting quite annoying (though he was fine up until the moment S left), and I really had to try to remember that he's overtired. By tomorrow night I hate to think what he'll be like. And unfortunately he has swimming after school Monday. After this sort of weekend I would probably keep him home from that, but it's the last class of the term, and he doesn't go back until Spring as the centre is closing down for the winter to do some work. I'm almost wondering if I should keep him home from school Monday instead. I guess I'll play it by ear, but either way I must remember: Liam is tired, and tired children find it hard to behave 'well'. Must remember!

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*Before this, in the three or so hours S had been here, they had built a boat (a box with a small broom for a mast), played with cars, done chalk drawing outside on the driveway in the freezing cold (but under cover from the on-again off-again light rain), rolled wool into small balls suitable for making gods-eyes, started making gods-eyes, and very briefly played with lego. S had also had fun playing outside with Mikaela, and told me several times she wished Kaely was her little sister.

Free play builds intellect

After school yesterday we had a play date with one of Liam's best friends, B, who doesn't go to 'our' school, but goes to one nearby, and two other mutual friends (twins) who used to go to B's school but now goes to Liam's.

The kindergarten playgrounds are enclosed, but the class one & two playground is out in the open, so we sometimes go down there after school finishes for a play, and that's what we did.

The boys (and one girl, B's four-year-old sister) played really well together, for over two hours. By the time we finally dragged them away it was getting dark and I had to call Chris to warn him that he'd be home before us, and could he please get something out of the freezer for dinner.

They played with sticks and logs and rocks and dirk (mud, really) building a 'dam' below a pond that the class-two children had built during the day. They filled it with bore water from a tap, using a big saucepan they found in the sandpit. It did leak a bit, but overall I have to say they did an amazing job, working together with virtually no supervision (their mum's being busy talking and supervising the toddlers), and no noticeable conflict.

One of the things their mum's were talking about was the importance of free play. B's mum, S, (one of my S friends) was telling us some recent research she'd heard about, that found that at this age free play is the most important factor in developing intellect.  And as we watched them 'working' none of us found that at all surprising. S's kids don't go to the Steiner school (though she's torn about it), but since free play is what they are doing a good 80% of the time in the Steiner kindy, the other two of us were able to feel quite smug.

The non-post, which quickly became Me Rabbiting On

From the claytons post direct to the non-post, and I haven't made it two weeks of posting every day yet. I wonder if this spells doom of my plans to make it through the entire month?

Two people I know IRL and one online (but not through blogging) are currently pregnant and happy about it - two via IVF one via an accident (though they were planning to start trying within a couple of months, just hadn't quite got there yet).

I am tired tired tired. Yet the idea of having a newborn in the house does not fill me with dread. Maybe that's just because I'm too tired to feel dread. Actually, I wouldn't want to have one right now. Kaely is not quite two and still seems waaay to young to me to introduce another baby into the house. All those people who have the second when their first is under two (or even under three, truth be told) are amazing to me. How they manage, but more than that, how they can even contemplate having another one early enough to have produced another one that quickly is totally beyond me.

Kaely is seeming quite a bit better, by the way, but still very grumpy.

I went to pilates tonight. I've been doing it since about three months before we started trying to get pregnant with Mikaela. I told my cousin (after her second baby in as many years) that doing pilates is just a price of having children and really must be done. A very middle class perspective.

I start back at work in only about 6 or 7 weeks. Seven I guess. Not sure how I feel about that yet, but it will be for a different government department than the one I left, because of the shuffling of portfolios with the new government, so that's sort of exciting. Or perhaps exciting is too strong a word, but you know what I mean I'm sure.

Liam's school has it's annual Autumn picnic this Sunday, but I can't go because I'll be writing. The deadline approacheth fast. I'm also missing one of his best friend's birthday parties the following week for the second or third year in the row for the same reason.

And now that I have rabbited on and on I am going to bed.

Where have all my friends gone?

Liam had his first day in full kindergarten on Tuesday.

It's not much different to last year - same classroom, same teacher, same routine - just more days, and different kids.

The different kids is the hard part right now. Liam loved school last year, and was really looking forward to it starting again (for weeks he's been telling me to call his teacher and ask if they can start NOW). But I big part of his excitement was caught up in playing the same games with the same kids. So when he got there on Tuesday and most of his friends weren't there - having gone up to class one, after doing their year of 'full kinder' last year - he looked very lost.

To me that is. I watched him, standing in the middle of this huge sandpit, waiting for his best friends A and G to show up, and almost got teary. Actually I did. I wondered whether I should have told him, even just that morning, so that he wouldn't be waiting and wondering. His teacher had said not. She said if you tell them they will just worry. Let them enjoy their holidays, and when they get here they'll find out, and they'll be fine.

When I picked him up I asked him how it was, and he, as usual, said it was great. I asked if it was as good as he remembered and he said no, because it was different kids. But he said it quite cheerfully, and he was just as keen to go to school today as he was Tuesday (Wednesdays he has off still).

But today I ran into the mother of one of his old friends in the car park, and saw another but only at a distance. And on the way home I felt all sad again, but I realised: this time I wasn't feeling sad for him, I was feeling sad for me. These mothers, my friends who I hung out with at drop off and pick up last year, have moved on without me. Sure, I'll still see them around, we'll still have a few play dates (when they can be fitted in around school - weekends I suppose), but it won't be the same. They've moved on, and I'm still in kinder. And I'm going to miss them.

Today we had our first school fair as actual parents at Orana

We've been to the Orana Spring Fair most years (maybe every year) since Liam was born, but this was the first one as bonafide members of the school community - with jobs to do and everything.

The fair went from eleven to three, and we got there between 11:30 and 12:00. Next year we will get there right at the start. Even though there was a freezing cold wind and Mikaela hadn't had a nap, we filled the entire day and felt like we hardly did any of the fair activities. And Mikaela, tired as she was, had a ball.

We did go up to see the puppet show in one of the kindergartens. Which is to say, Liam went in and watched the puppet show, while Chris and I hung out admiring the playground with Mikaela. The Orana school grounds are all gorgeous and currently full of flowers, but I think the kindergarten playgrounds are the best. There are four kindies with two enclosed playgrounds (ie two sharing each playground), and they have created just wonderful environments for five year olds to play. These photos (taken on my phone) don't do it justice at all - especially they don't show all colours of the roses and campanulas and all the other flowers are that are in bloom right now. But you get a rough idea.

Aside from that we saw some of the Maypole dances, bought a few books and plants, plus of course some yummy food, and then spent the last couple of hours hanging around the children's activities, where I was rostered on to help. I don't know that I was a lot of help except with the pack up, but I learned to make a god's eye, and someone else helped Liam make a garland and a fishing pole (with magnet on the end). He had a go at a godseye too, but it didn't turn out as beautiful as mine :)

Usually I go to the plant stall at the end and buy lots of plants when they're all 50c each, but I couldn't do that this time, being rostered for packup elsewhere. However, we did score a bag of kids clothes free. They had an end of fair special of $5 for a bag full, which my Mum kindly took advantage of for us, but by the time she went to pay they'd packed up the money! So that was a nice little bonus for the day. I do love free clothes. We are still getting quite a few handmedowns for Mikaela, but not so much for Liam these days.

A TV imagination

One of the reasons that Liam's (Steiner) school strongly encourages us to limit television time (and have no TV before school) is that they say it limits their imagination - it's too prescritive, basically.

So Liam came home from school the other day and told me they'd been playing a game called 'Road Runner', in which Road Runner drove a fast car, a wolf fought Road Runner's enemies, and a bird hung out with Road Runner (I doubt he knows that road runner's are themselves birds). The funny thing is that Liam has no idea that this is based on a television show, and I wouldn't be surprised to discover none of his friends do either. They might, but it might also just be a game that has been passed down from previous generations in the class. After all, I've never heard of Road Runner driving a car - I think that's just an assumption they made from the name.

The same day he told me they'd been playing 'Heros' in which one of the heros was named TJ and there was a doctor named 'Sidikin' (or something like that) - except they couldn't find anyone to play Sidikin. I'm guessing this is also based on some TV show, but I have no idea what it is.

More on Liam in School

On the weekend Liam said to me "I love school. But it won't be as much fun once the teaching starts."

I didn't let on that the teaching already has started! But I did tell him that it was just going to go on being the way it was last week. There was an unfortunate episode in The Wishing Chair Again with Mister Grimm's school for bad brownies that I foolishly didn't skip which had Liam quite nervous about school for a while last year. I think it is still influencing his idea of what school might be like.

However, this week he loves it just as much as last week.

Liam is a big boy now

Liam starts school tomorrow. I'm not quite sure how he's feeling about it, but I'm feeling excited and nervous on his behalf.

He'll have one friend in his class (and that friend will already know two or three other kids) but no-one else he knows. I'll be leaving him in a group of around 12, with one friend, one teacher... Not something he's ever done before. I've left him with other people, but not with people he didn't know. He's been saying he needed to get to know his teacher better, lets call her Jane,  before he starts, so we went in today after school to spend a bit of time in the classroom while she packed up, and in the yard while she staked up a few new trees they planted last week (I cleared this with her on Friday).

School started today, but Liam's only there Tuesdays and Thursdays this year. He's in a mixed 4/5-5/6 -year-old class, so some kids are there three or four days and some only two. He barely spoke to Jane today, but he had fun playing and seems quite keen to go in the morning. We stayed for about a half hour this afternoon and he wasn't ready to leave.

So I'm a little nervous, but also excited for him. I loved primary school, especially the first few years. And Orana is looking to be a lovely school. And Jane is looking like being a lovely teacher.