narrating kayoz

"If millions of reinforcing signals say a woman's work is less significant, something will eventually begin to stick."

This article explains why I participated in the Australian Women Writers challenge this year.

It is also part of why I was so, so pleased with Julia Gillard's speech in parliament this week, openly accusing the opposition leader of sexism, and even more so with the subseqent interview Penny Wong gave on the 7:30 report.

In the interview Senator Wong points out that the PM being called "precious or a victim" or the equivalent is par for the course when a women speaks up against sexism, and is part of how we continue to we silence women in this country.

We need to be having this conversation in mainstream Australia. We need to be having it in the media.

'Women who do speak out—whether against sexism in the literary world or in the church or in the academy or in politics—are often accused of "whining," and then, like children, they are punished. But I am convinced the risk is worth it.

'...

'Author V. S. Naipaul recently claimed in an interview with the Royal Geographic Society that there was not a single female writer he considered his equal—not even Jane Austen, whose work he dismissed as "sentimental."...

'It might be possible to dismiss Naipaul's blatant sexism as the ravings of an arrogant misogynist if there were structural equality in the publishing industry, but there isn't. For the second year in a row, VIDA: Women in Literary Arts released a series of pie charts (the VIDA count) showcasing annual data comparing the rate of publication between women and men in the writing world's most respected literary outlets—and things don't look good for women who write.² VIDA reports that in 2011, The Atlantic published 184 articles and pieces of fiction by men and 64 by women; 18 of their book reviewers were men and 8 were women; and 24 of the authors reviewed were men, compared to 12 women. Harper's Magazine published 65 articles by men and 13 articles by women; 23 of their book reviewers were men and 10 were women; 53 of the authors reviewed were men, 19 were women. The New York Review of Books published 133 articles by men and 19 by women; 201 of their book reviewers were male and 53 were female; and they reviewed 75 male authors and only 17 female authors. I could go on. The New Yorker, The New York Times Book Review, The New Republic, The London Review of Books—all pay more attention to books and essays and articles and poems and short stories written by men than they do to those written by women.

'Gendered responses to women's writing have led several women to create alter egos in an effort to determine whether it is their ideas that generate hostile responses or whether simply being a woman with an opinion is enough on its own, no matter what they write. In "Disagree with Me—But Not Because I'm a Black Woman," Hannah Pool describes creating an online white male alter ego, Harry Pond. "I went on to a couple of threads. The opinions were my own, but the name a fake," she writes. "Unsurprisingly, Harry Pond received no racism and no sexism, in fact very little of anything by way of comment. People engaged with 'Harry' in a grownup manner, without the need for insults. Is this what it's like to be a white man? Having people accept your right to a difference of opinion?"³ In 2009, researcher Emily Glassberg sent out identical scripts to theaters in the United States, half with a male name and half with a female name. She found that those believed to have been written by women were rated significantly worse by artistic directors and literary managers than those written by men. "This was even the case when many of those artistic directors and literary managers were women."⁴

'I am beginning to understand why Mary Ann Evans changed her name to George Eliot.

'...

'[Author Dani Shapiro described] a recent post by Tim Parks on the The New York Review of Books blog in which Parks explores how "the writer's job" is currently understood and illustrates how this conception has changed over time. Parks mentions many writers—Sophocles, Virgil, Pope, Petrarch, Chaucer, Byron, Shelley, T. S. Eliot, Rushdie, Pamuk, Coetzee. "It was on second read that it occurred to me that there were no women. Not one," Shapiro said. "This was written by someone who simply doesn't have female writers as any kind of reference."

'What does it mean that a supposedly historical account of the writer's job can ignore all female writers? Most contemporary statistics suggest that women are writing more books than men are writing, and women are reading more books than men are reading, and women are buying more books than men are buying, and yet our work, our very existence, is regularly made to disappear. What effect does this erasure have? On women? On writers? On readers? Theater critic and novelist Alison Croggon writes, "If millions of reinforcing signals say a woman's work is less significant, something will eventually begin to stick."

'...

'What can be done?

'First, buy books written by women. Novels, memoirs, theology, political nonfiction, scientific explorations, poetry, history, mysteries. Put yourself on a diet of books by women and see what happens. Read them with your book groups. Review them online. Disagree with their ideas. Critique their arguments. Revel in the power of their words.'

For more (including 2nd & 3rd things to do): Sarah Sentilles: The Pen is Mightier: Sexist responses to women writing about religion.

Where is all the "men's art"?

This:

Part of the problem is when a woman writes about her experiences of trying to find out who she is it’s generally considered an insight into the female experience, but when a man writes about the same topic it’s considered an insight into the human condition (the same problem also happens for people of colour, LGBT people and other minorities, obviously.) In an interview, Heti stated, “‘Women’s fiction’ doesn’t sound like anything but a slur to my ears” and I tend to agree. This novel is important because the more books like this (and films and songs...) that are made and supported, the closer we get from moving from the idea of something being “women’s art” to it simply being “art”.

http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-culture/why-everyone-is-talking-about-this-book-20120717-227oz.html

Queensland looking at biggest reversal of gay and lesbian legal rights, ever

From Blue Milk today

Queensland is looking at the biggest reversal of gay and lesbian legal rights in the world, ever. Your adorable queer parenting community needs help. And here is how to help them from Queensland lesbian mama friends of mine (they sometimes comment on my blog and you’d love them if you knew them, and god knows it is a small world and you probably do):

"We need your help.  In 2010 the law changed in Queensland so that children of same-sex couples were able to have both parents recognised in law and named on their birth certificates.  Many of you helped with that campaign and it’s a pity we need to ask you to help again. Unfortunately it looks like the LNP Government is going to reverse that reform, as well as the reform to the Surrogacy Act.  This means that our unborn child would only have one legal parent.  If the laws are retrospective, our existing child could lose his other mother as his legal parent.  We find it heartbreaking that these rights could be taken from our children.

"The changes are expected to happen fast and with very little or no consultation.  Parliament sits again next Tuesday, 10 July.  In considering the legislation in the party room, the elected LNP representatives need to be aware of their constituents’ views so that hopefully cannot ignore these views when they speak for them."

More at Blue Milk. And Rainbow Families Queensland.

On being a Deficient Housewife

(Note, I wrote most of this post late last year, on my iPhone, hence some of it is out of date, eg the fact that I was recently on holidays or that I wasn't working outside of the home).

I confessed to my husband the other day that I sometimes feel a little inadequate as a housewife. And let's face it, I am inadequate, by any traditional measure (come look at my house when I'm not expecting you, if you don't believe me). 

But that's not really what the conversation was about. It started because a very good friend of mine recently called Chris a saint. And no, she didn't mean because he puts up with me, not really (she loves me, I swear), and yes, she was getting a slightly warped view because we were on holidays and on holidays I do admit that I expect Chris to change most of the pooey nappies (in addition to sharing the rest of the parenting), not only because in a normal week I change the vast majority, as well as doing the vast majority of the rest of the child care (just by virtue of being there), but because quite frankly, I'm up with Elli at night, more often than ever when we're away, so I figure I deserve a break from something! Do I sound a little defensive? Let's move on then...

Where was I? Oh yes, so my friend kept calling Chris a saint, which isn't all that unusual actually, and why? Because, look I'm sorry everyone, but from what y'all tell me, most husbands/fathers simply don't pull their weight. But wait, I didn't even need you to tell me that - the research very clearly shows that it is still the case that most women in heterosexual marriages do the lion's share if the housework, whether or not they also work outside of the home, and regardless of how much they work outside of the home. And this is especially the case if there are also children living in that home. In other words, on average, in a household with a man, a woman and some child or children, if both parents work outside the home, on average the woman will do X hours of domestic work and the man will do significantly less than X. (See here and here and here for some actual stats and studies to back that up. Edited to add: and most recently here. Hat Tip to blue milk for the link.)

And guess what? That's not the case for us. Chris pulls his weight with house work, including parenting. Not only that, he can't understand how it's possible that other men don't see that their wife is working all day (whether or not she gets paid for it), and often again much of the night, especially if they have young kids. And, weekends too! And holidays! 

Okay, Chris pulls his weight, people call him a saint, and I cannot deny that he is a stellar husband. So why does that make me feel less than? Chris pointed out that I am seeing it as though it's a zero sum game - that is, if he is better, I must be worse. I know, rationally, that that's not what anyone's implying. Well, not most people.

Actually, do you know what I just realised? I don't know that at all. I actually do think they think I am worse. Oh not this particular friend. Maybe not even most, but some? Absolutely. And it's not just because Chris hangs out that washing at night while he's watching television (after I've gone to bed, because I will more than likely be up by 5 with Eliane), and cleans up the dinner dishes while I'm getting Elli down or later when I'm working (writing, mostly, which I may love to do, but which I am still doing to try to earn an income), and gets up in the night with the big kids, while most of the other mothers I know do most if not all of that themselves - no, it's not just that stuff. It's because I do not keep a tidy house. I mean, Chris does all that stuff and more besides, and what do I do? I don't keep the house basically tidy, and I certainly don't keep the oven scrubbed or the windows clean or the bathroom completely free if mould, or even the toys picked up off the floor.

So why don't I? How is it that so many other women manage to keep their homes beautiful (or at least relatively tidy), while their partners work all day to earn a crust and then watch tv every night?* Is it because I spend my days playing with my children, doing craft activities, helping my eldest with homework, or otherwise having quality time with them? No it is not. Oh sure, I do those things, but no more than most, and certainly less than some.

No, the reason is—

Well. I'm tempted to say the reason is that I hate housework, but that - while partly true - would play right into my image problem. I really should stop telling people our house us perennially messy because we both hate housework and are basically lazy. The fact that is there are two reasons our house us perenially messy. Okay, three.

1. Yes I do hate housework, particularly the kind that involves picking things up and finding them a home. Cleaning I actually don't hate - cleaning the toilet or the bathroom? No problem. It's just a matter or finding the time. That, I find tricky. I've got the time, there are just other things I'd rather use it for. And Chris doesn't love it either.

2. I work from home. Yes, I'm on (unpaid) maternity leave right now, but at the same time I have been working very hard at trying to build an online business for over a year now, since Eliane was about 8 months old. It started out with just looking for a few places to get paid for some very basic web content writing. But it quickly morphed into me starting my own website (SustainableSuburbia.net), and trying to stay true to the principles and values the name of the site implies (and which I hold dear), while at the same time writing to address keywords & phrases that people are actually searching on (in search engines), and create an income from it.** I am still writing a bit for other sites as well (and as discussed here previously have now added narrating kayoz goes travelling to my suite of blogs, partly in order to profit from our recent rather expensive holiday abroad, which is itself not a little work), and I also started kayoz talks books, mostly to have a .au site to use to link to books on fishpond.com.au, on which I suddenly realised I was making some money as result of some posts on this site that rank well in search engines for certain books, so I wanted to leverage that without turning this blog into a sales pitch.

Okay, so the fact is that for the past year - pretty much as soon as I had started to regain some energy and got it together to cope with having three children - I have been working at home during the day whenever Eliane sleeps, plus quite a bit of her awake time, especially when both other kids were at school, as well as most nights after they were in bed. So while she's messing up the house, I am not walking around behind her cleaning up. Much less getting to the oven. Now that we're back from our trip I need to come up with a schedule with better balance, but which still gets the work done. But it will probably have a better balance with sleep, not with housework. So that's reason number two.***

3.  Clutter. Oh yes, the Clutter. And now we come to something I can do something about. I hope. But even that takes more time.

Wait, did you notice what just happened? I've just derailed this post to rationalise, to justify my deficiencies. When what I really wanted to do was to talk about why I feel inadequate in the first place.

I asked Chris how he feels about the fact that our house is a perennial mess, and he said he'd prefer it to be tidy. But that obviously he - and we - don't value that enough to actually "make it so". I said, how does it make you feel about yourself? Or about how other people may see you? He couldn't answer. I don't know, he eventually said.

Of course, we are just two people, and you really can't generalise from the personal. I will say, I think it's telling that it makes me feel inadquate and it makes him feel - nothing. We both would like to live in a tidy house, but only I allow my identity to be tied up in it. Admittedly, I've been the stay-at-home-mum for a while now, but even when we've both been doing moreorless equal paid work, I've still felt this pressure.

This is nothing new, I know, but it's interesting for me to see it in myself. So feminism has done its job? Hardly. And as long as we are still seeing the inequalities in this generation of parents, how can we possibly think the current generation of children will grow up without a similarly gendered view of the world?

Now, here are a few stellar posts you should go read next, if feminism and mothering and housework is of even passing interest to you. I'd love to write more myself, but for reasons outlined in that first post below, I can't focus anymore. It's taken me about three hours to get this far (and note, the bulk of this post was written months ago), and I can't cope with the interruptions anymore.

Motherworkin’ Part II – Interruptibility

My husband does do that - my journey out of the equal parenting closet

Before we call a truce on The Chore War

Putting the Wife Back in Housewifery

___________________


*I don't count the ones where both partners work all day, because if both adults are at work all day then generally there are no kids at home making a mess, and no one home using dishes and so on. At least when the kids are the ages of mine. So while I know that the average woman in that situation still does more housework than the average man, I also assume that there is less to do each day.

** I haven't talked about this much here mostly because that income depends on people either clicking on ads or buying products, either of which could be seen to be counter to the concept of sustainable/anti-consumer living that the website embodies, and I while I have mostly reconciled that in my own mind, I am still a little uncomfortable about it. More thinking to come.

*** and of course previously chris and I both worked part time - mostly - and I was mostly studying as well, enough said I hope.

'The first wave of real Abbottism''

"Campbell Newman, with his disdain for process, his early embrace of culture wars, his combative temper, and his perverse decision to deny funding to a major solar project on the grounds that the federal government had a carbon price (while later signalling a challenge to the legislation itself) represents the first wave of real Abbottism to hit the nation."

What a thoroughly depressing concept. From The Pirate Queen's Panopticon, Kim Jameson's new blog (late of Larvatus Prodeo).

Great New Blog! Conflicting Kates

An old friend has just started a new blog called Conflicting Kates. She's a mother of two young children, just quit her (challenging, interesting) job and is about to move back to Oz. The blog's about her conflicting selves - career vs super-mum vs why can't we be both?

I seriously contemplated quitting my job last year, instead of returning to work at the end of mat leave. I started to blog about it, but I don't think I ever did. But it brought up a whole load of questions for me, from "Do I really want to lose my fantastic job security (right when the world might be about to implode, economically as well as environmentally)" to "Can I really stand the thought of my family having the stereotypical father=earns-the-bread, mother=washes-the-diapers breakdown of roles?"

There was more to it than that, and in the end I didn't quit, and have been fantastically lucky to be able to go back one day a week for the moment, but it's not that I don't have the conversations in my head.

Anyway, Kate's only got a couple of posts up there so far, but they are thought provoking, and if you get in now, you won't have too much catching up to do. :) So what are you waiting for, go read it!

Midwinter, reverence and decluttering

We went to Mikaela's kindergarten winter festival and lantern walk tonight. It is a lovely way to mark midwinter and to recognise that the days will be getting longer again from this point on.

I was chatting to another parent afterwards, commenting what a magical experience it is for the children, walking along in the deepening evening, their way lit by the (candle) lanterns they carry, and by the larger candle-lit lanterns marking the path, singing their midwinter songs. I compared it to the fireworks nights we had in early June when I was a child, and still had here in Canberra until a couple of years ago. Both events held magic, flames and winter darkness. An important difference though, is that the lantern festival is directly associated with midwinter in a way that our fireworks night (the Queen's birthday celebration) wasn't. It gives the children - and parents - a sense of connection with the rhythm of the seasons that is overt, not just by the by.

Another important difference is that the lantern walk is done in an atmosphere of reverence. This is something many children (and parents) in our society now have very little opportunity to experience, and they make a deliberate effort to give the children such opportunities at the school. In a lovely article on the benefits of reverence and rhythm
Esther Leisher writes about the "openness toward the world and other people that reverence brings".

I love what she had to say about everyday reverence: "To permeate life with reverence means not just at set-aside times, but also reverence for everyday things. This creates a mood in a family. <big snip>...Reverence prepares your children to notice the good in life. What greater gift could you give them?"

I don't feel we do this terribly well in our family. It's one more thing I think would be easier - sorry *will* be easier - when we have decluttered our house. The value of the Steiner idea that the young child should be surrounded by beauty and order becomes more and more clear to me with each year at Orana and with each child. We have not done so well on this either, but there is still time for some of Mikaela's early years and most of Eliane's to be lived in such an environment.

I don't kid myself. I am not going to suddenly become a neat freak or a fabulous housekeeper and neither is Chris. But I do think getting the clutter down could will make an enormous difference.

And I do think that living in a more ordered environment with less clutter, will give us more room in our lives - figuratively as well as literally - for beauty and for everyday reverence.

In the meantime, I am glad Mikaela has her beautiful kindergarten classroom to escape to two days a week, and I am grateful for events like tonight's lantern festival, as well as the full primary school one we went to with Liam last week, which give both the children and us an opportunity to experience reverence in a more organised way.

Practicing Mindfulness

Adopting a Child's Mindfulness I've had this link sitting in here as a poor little draft post for so long I've forgotten what I was going to say about it. Anyway, I'm sure he said it better in the first place so - that's all from me today. Just go read the article. It's a good one.

Great Aussie Street Party - Sunday December 5

We have registered...

HAVE YOU REGISTERED YOUR STREET PARTY YET?

Our Great Aussie Street Party campaign is well under way and just as we hoped, Simple Savings members all over the country are taking up the challenge! So far we have 66 parties registered, which is fantastic! Our goal is to get 100 street parties being held on the same day, Sunday December 5th at the same time!

Will YOUR neighbourhood be one of the 34 needed to reach the magic 100? Don't be shy, join us now! There's still plenty of time to enter and get the neighbours on board. All the information you need, including your free printable invitations is available at www.aussiestreetparty.com Register today to be in to win a cash prize!

Having some belly photos taken

I have just spent a lovely Sunday morning at Regatta Point with Chris and the kids, and the delightful Trish. She brought along her fabulous camera and took lots of photos of my belly. Oh and the rest of me, and the kids, and even Chris got into some of them.

I don't really like having my photo taken, but I do like to look at the results after wards. Especially of the kids. I know Trish got a few good ones, because she showed me on the camera. She even managed to get Liam to look natural (he likes to pose, y'see, but it doesn't always make for the most attractive of shots!). But I can't wait to see them all. Or at least, the ones she considers good enough to show me. The nice thing about someone else photographing you is that they can delete the ugly ones without you ever having to see them!

I didn't get any particularly good belly photos with either of the other pregnancies, and to be honest, I did hesitate when Trish offered to do some this time. But this is my last pregnancy, and - I'm glad I said yes. Actually it was a lot of fun - Regatta Point was Trish's suggestion and it was an excellent one. The kids had a ball, playing on the various playgrounds, feeding the ducks & swans, finding 'secret' spots in the bushes and under willow trees. We are so lucky to live in Canberra, we should really make the most of it and get out more often.

"When Transparency comes to town"

Because I don't have time to blog properly... I bring you some more link love instead:

When Transparency comes to town:

Along with this President Obama asked agencies to use tools that make the government transparent, collaborative, and transparent. These tools can be wikis, government databases, blogs etc. but the overriding principle is the open and free access to public information in order to create a more dynamic and active participatory democracy.

It's exciting stuff, I reckon. (Of course, I'm a little biased about anything to do with Obama or web 2.0 in government, but still...)

More on motherhood and artistic pursuits...

The Mood Back Home: an exhibition inspired by Womanhouse (at mothering.com news bulletins):

A new exhibition at Momenta Art gallery in Brooklyn, New York addresses the challenges women face in simultaneously pursuing artistic careers, motherhood, and domestic lives. Once thought to be mutually exclusive pursuits, traditional gender roles and stereotypes about what it means to be an artist continue to suggest that women artists can't quite have it all. "The Mood Back Home", on view February 12 through March 16, 2009, disputes that notion, featuring topical work by 12 contemporary women artists.

(more of the article by Laura Andre at the link above)

Happy LGBT Family's Day

I missed this yesterday, but it's still the 2nd in some parts of the world, so I'm quickly posting this link now before running out of the house!

Reusing soft plastic (eg bags)

Via Riana I just came across this etsylabs tutorial on how to reuse plastic bags (or other soft plastic). It's all about how to fuse several of them together, using an iron, and then make them into all sorts of things - reusable shopping bags being the most common thing mentioned, but I was thinking maybe I could make some big and heavy enough to cover part of the chicken run. Someone else suggested covering a greenhouse, but didn't actually report back on whether it worked.

The only problem of course is that we mostly use fabric bags now for our shopping, so we don't end up with many plastic bags, and the ones we do get are used up on dog poo or general garbage pretty quickly. But then someone mentioned the bags dry cleaning comes back in, and bread bags. Other people commented that they found the slightly heavier bags (Target got several mentions) more reliable than the thinner, cheaper bags (I assume supermarket bags) which sometimes wrinkle. So it might take some experimenting.

And I would also only do it outside on the deck, where we conveniently have an outdoor powerpoint, to avoid fumes - someone posted this warning in the comments:

What a cool idea! I hate to spoil anyone's fun, BUT I think it should be mentioned that this should be done in a

WELL VENTILATED

area or that you use an organic vapor mask or a respirator. Melting and potentially burning plastics creates sometimes harmful fumes, some of which are linked with embryonic mutagens.

Better safe than sorry.

But all in all, I have to say I'm feeling inspired. Better finish my dishcloth first though... not to mention my masters project!

protecting privacy

Last night I cooked dinner from a recipe I found on another blog. Later I heard Liam telling Chris this on the phone (Chris being in Melbourne for work), and I starting thinking about Liam and blogging.

I remembered that Dawn mentioned a while ago that Noah wanted his own blog, and I thought - that will be Liam one day in the not so distant future. I've already started talking about blogging to him, a very little bit, so the idea that I am talking all about our lives on the world wide internet won't come as a shock down the track!

But then I started thinking: if Liam will want his own blog, probably some of his friends will as well. Which means they'll be reading blogs. Which means they could, conceivably, come across this blog. With funny (and not so funny) stories about Liam from the moment of his birth (leaving aside for a moment the unlikelihood of a prepubescent boy reading the blog of a boring middle aged women, with no sexy photos or nothin'). And while I haven't put many photos of Liam up since he was about three, it wouldn't take long to figure out that it was him I was writing about. So maybe, I thought, I should have used pseudonyms for the kids.

So I'm wondering, if you blog about your kids - do you use pseudonyms? And why do you, or why don't you? And are you happy with that decision?

De-cluttering - the dilemma

The problem with trying to de-clutter my house is that in conflicts with my other plan to not buy anything new, to try to reuse as much as possible. How can I throw anything out/give anything away, when it might be useful some time? This is the problem I've always had, of course - it's why I am such a pack rat. But added to taking the compact, trying to teach Liam about reduce/reuse/repair/recycle, and trying to save money all at once? The urge to keep everything is even stronger.

I have managed to get a bunch of stuff out of my closet to give to Vinnie's, but even there I was less ruthless than I meant to be, and kept thinking But maybe I could use that to make something else, for the kids even. This from the woman who uses iron-on patches because sewing ones on seems far too complicated. Yeah.

On the other hand I just found a new blogger (new to me that is), who talks about sewing with fleece, which apparently doesn't even need hemming, and is fairly forgiving of mistakes. So maybe, maybe... And she did a week's worth of grocery shopping for $67 (for four!) how impressive is that?!

Yet More Link Love: Freecycle

I think I've been meaning to blog about the wonderful thing that is Freecycle for a couple of years now and I think haven't done it, so instead, since I am clearly in a link love sort of mood (while what I should be doing is concentrating all about motherhood, maternity, in/fertility and whatnot, or at the very least playing scrabulous), I give you Freecycle. (If you don't live in Canberra you will have to search yahoo for Freecycle in your part of the world, but there probably is one.)

This is one thing that has helped me, a very little bit, to let go of my attachment to material things. I've given some really good stuff away on Freecycle (really good stuff that we had never used, but who knows? Some day we might!), and I've also received a few useful pieces.

More Link Love*: A slow year

Riana on not shopping any more:

One thing is for sure, anyone can do this. If I: a total shopping whore who drove an SUV, worked in a business that involved shipping alcohol containers into the states on major polluting cargo ships (2000 times more polluting than a big diesel truck), flew to Europe and beyond ten or more times a year- hell, I flew to Paris for the weekend from the West Coast to see my boyfriend (now my husband), then so can you.

More at These Days in French Life.

_____
*I think I stole this term (link love) from Trish.

More on that sustainable, ethical living theme

After the post I wrote a week or two ago about sustainable living, I started to think - maybe we should start doing the 'no new purchases' thing - where you don't buy anything new except groceries and underwear. Anything else you need you have to find second hand. We could do it for six months and see how we go.

The next day I checked my credit card balance, for some reason, and it was more than $3000 higher than I expected - turns out where I thought I'd paid last month's horrific balance, apparently I hadn't (probably I paid online and walked away from the computer before it got to the 'confirm' screen). So our bank balance was suddenly a lot sadder than I thought, and not getting any better, what with me not earning any money until July.

So, we are now on a real spending freeze. The deal is that at least until July we buy nothing new except groceries, underwear (only if we really need it) and shoes (again, only if we really need them, but both being trained in the bodywork industry, we both feel the importance of wearing shoes that aren't too unevenly worn - which means Liam gets bought new shoes when he outgrows the last ones and I get mine resoled over and over until they simply can't be worn any more). Also, we're not allowed to buy anything second hand unless we both agree that we really need it or we buy it out of our own spending money (and $20/week doesn't go very far). Because this is not just about sustainable consumption any more, it's also about sustaining our bank balance. Also we're cutting back significantly on grocery money, plus not buying any more cling wrap!

So there it is.

And on the topic of sustainable consumption here's Jackie French:

I’m a bit suspicious of a lot of so called ‘green tips’. Badly made backyard compost can lead to global warming methane and cockroaches (The methane is the global warming culprit, not the cockroaches). And sometimes keeping your old stuff is a heck of a lot more earth friendly than buying new ‘green’ versions of cars or clothes.

A lot of ‘ green tips’ remind me a bit of a girl I knew back in the 1960’s. She decided not to eat any more chocolate till the Vietnam War ended.

It didn’t make any difference to the war of course. But she felt nice and virtuous because she was giving something up. Which is what most ‘green tips’; are meant to do- to make us feel virtuous about doing small things for the planet- recycling paper, or not having a good long fragrant soak- while we still roam the world for holidays and consume more household ‘goods’ (or bads, or just plain sillies).

50 Quick, Painless Ways You Can Help the Environment Today

There are some things here I hadn't thought of: The Action Blog - 50 Quick, Painless Ways You Can Help the Environment Today.

Tomorrow is Blog Action Day, so I'm off to draft my post.

Being an anti-racist parent

One of the wonderful things about blogs is how they make me think about things I might otherwise miss. Of course, talking to other people IRL and reading books does this too, but I guess through blogs I get exposed to people I might not come across in my every day life.

For instance, a post by Robyn ages ago on DotMoms about the books her kids have that could help "broach discussions of diversity" made me take another look at my own bookshelf, and realise how sadly lacking it was. Most of Liam's books are either hand-me-downs, gifts, or left overs from my own childhood. So despite the fact that my best friend is a lesbian parent, there were no books with two moms. Also no books with adopted children, few books with children of colour... you get the picture. I know, it's shameful to admit that I hadn't noticed that before, but while I've tended to scrutinise books fairly thoroughly before (or while) reading them to Liam for things I wanted to avoid, I hadn't looked at them in terms of things I wanted to foster.

That post sparked a new series of trips to the library (and even a new purchase or two).

And now, what this post is actually all about: The other day, Dawn linked to her introductory post on Anti-Racist Parent, "a blog for parents who are committed to raising children with an anti-racist outlook". What a wonderful idea for a blog.

The inner lives of mothers

Another post via a Raising WEG post: a current survey by Suniya S. Luthar, Ph.D. at Columbia University, who is exploring the inner lives of mothers.

Kids and Consumerism

Does anyone have any tips or reading suggestions on how to educate young children about the connection between "our personal behaviour and our environment" (see below for full quote)?

We try to talk to Liam about not wasting water, in particular, but of course he doesn't really get it. And I don't actually want to scare him about the state of the planet (according to the Steiner education principles the first life phase - until about age 7 - should have the theme "the world is safe"), but I do want him to get a sense of the importance of not over-consuming - water, electricity, packaging, toys... (And yet I just gave Chris the go ahead to buy an iPod - am I a complete hypocrite?)

"[A] study... from the Earth Institute at Columbia University, found an ominous silence when it comes to educating American K-12 students on the relationship between our personal behavior and our environment: that the size and inefficiency of our cars, homes, and appliances, our profligate fuels, our love of disposables, and the effects of buying more than we need actually undermine our prospects on earth. Slightly more time is spent teaching kids how the environment can affect us, overpowering humanity with floods, droughts, storms, earthquakes, climate change. But in our overall failure to illuminate the interdependence between Homo sapiens and earth we withhold critical knowledge from those whose lives depend upon it most.

"Many of today's kids recreate in the unwilderness of the shopping mall, where messages of prudence and wisdom are overwhelmed by the consumerism that feeds global warming. We send our kids to the mall because we fear the dangers outside. We could hardly be more wrong in our assessment of risk."

Thanks to Suzoz for the link to The 12 tipping points of global warming, by Julia Whitty in Mother Jones.

Get them blogging!

Here's a plug for a new service for American bloggers (as in, bloggers with a US address)  and PR people... Bloggers get free products to try out & review and marketing people get real live people reviewing their products.

Get Them Blogging! is a service to connect PR/marketing people to bloggers to get product and service reviews. Bloggers answer a detailed questionnaire and then get put in a database. Dawn says "Big bloggers, smaller bloggers — we are happy to have them all because we know that behind every blogger is a real live person with real influence!" There’s a detailed FAQ on http://www.getthemblogging.com or people can contact Dawn through that site with questions.

Walk Against Warming

Okay, so y'all couldn't make Car Free Weekend work for you. That's okay. How about taking a short walk this Saturday for the Walk Against Warming then? Everyone in my family but me is sick right now, but assuming that at least some of us are okay by then, we'll see you there. Well, if you can make it to Canberra anyway. ;) If you're elsewhere in Australia check the website for details of local walks.

Care Free Weekend

I've been meaning to post about this for ages. Car Free Weekend is on in two weeks time on 14 & 15 October. Take the challenge!

Don't call

Here's a lovely quote from week 2 of 'Tending Violet' - journal of new mom's first year:

Here's some advice for those with friends or loved ones with a newborn baby: Don't call them. Just don't. Send them an e-mail or a card, or offer to drop by with some food if you need to see the baby that badly (and then get out within a half hour or you'll be making a mighty mess of that day's schedule). Every second of every day is promised to the baby, or to sleeping off the effects of taking care of the baby. If you think a new parent has time for you, you're sorely mistaken.

(And lest you think she jokes, please note I am typing with babe in arms - the third time she has woken up in this sleep period... And the only reason I've had time to write so much today despite this wakefulness is that Liam & Chris have been out most of the day.)

Bush's resume

Like Tamar, Trish is helping me to post entries without having to write anything myself... Very thoughtful of them isn't it? Trish has posted W's CV. What a great man to have as president of the United States! (She also has a very funny post about chucking trantrums, if you need a good laugh after that!)

"Facing the Moment of Truth"

Tamar has an essay up at http://www.autismspeaks.org/: "Facing the Moment of Truth".
Go read it, you're sure to be glad you did. :)

But does it make sense?

This is really cool (with thanks to Blogasmic for the link).