narrating kayoz

Communing with chickens and other end of winter jobs

Getting out into the very end of winter yesterday to get a few garden chores done (before I fall ill with the nasty bug that's laid into every other member of my family over the past week and a half). This was Liam & Mikaela's first fresh air in a week!

First taking care of a weed tree we've been slackly letting get out of hand, and conveniently thereby creating some small logs of the hugelkultur bed I have in mind.

Both kids had a few goes with the pruning saw till we had the whole thing down and in pieces.

Then there was some communing with chickens to do:

Checking for eggs...

And some lemons to pick...

All in all it was a fun afternoon, with Spring truly on its way. What are you doing for the change of seasons?

What is coming in the wake of the record ice melt... is unlikely to be pleasant

In its last assessment, published in 2007, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change noted that “in some projections, Arctic late-summer sea ice disappears almost entirely by the latter part of the 21st century.”(4) These were the most extreme forecasts in the panel’s range. Some scientists now forecast that the disappearance of Arctic sea ice in late summer could occur in this decade or the next(5,6,7).

As I’ve warned repeatedly, but to little effect, the IPCC’s assessments tend to be conservative. This is unsurprising when you see how many people have to approve them before they are published...

I have no idea what is coming to Europe and North America this winter and next summer, in the wake of the record ice melt, but it’s unlikely to be pleasant.

~ George Monbiot More here

Rioting for the Future

About a year ago I first read about Sharon Astyk's Riot for Austerity and posted about it on Sustainable Suburbia. I was inspired and wanted to join in, but we were prepping for our overseas trip, and as usual I already felt I had taken too much on, so I let it slide.

But just now I read an article in Grass Root's magazine from Asphyxia, about her version of the Riot (using Australian figures, yay), and calling for readers to join in.

Can we do it? The idea is to cut down to 10% of the average use of resources in 7 areas. In the June/July issue of Grass Roots this year Asphyxia has covered how she went about doing that in the area of food (not cutting down on eating, as such, but on the resources involved in getting the food).

Future issues are going to have articles on the next 6 areas, plus there's support through the Grass Roots FB page.

Since food has been my particular focus this year - eating more local, cooking more from scratch etc (and on that subject, can I just say I've just discovered the wonders of pressure cooking and I am SOLD), it seems fated.

I always feel like I'm trying to do too much, maybe something to do with having three kids, a part-time job, running several websites and trying to write a book (I haven't blogged about it here, but that is my Big project at the moment. Around the subject of urban homesteading, but that's all I'm going to say at the moment), and maybe sell a few articles along the way... but we are all about trying to live more sustainably anyway, and somehow the idea of putting some figures around it - even if we make it a 'quiet riot' and try to cut down to say, 50% in some areas - makes things feel more doable - or at least, easier to know what we are doing and what we need to still work on.

So, I'm going to talk to my family about it. We've just switched from cheap milk to bloody expensive but far more ethical (and local) milk. We've been getting seasonal organic fruit & vegies delivered most weeks (I love this because it doesn't give me the chance to not buy vegies I don't usually cook with - I just get them and have to figure out how to use them).

Of course, all this is costing more. The dairy alone is costing us around $30 extra per week (my kids go through a LOT of milk). I read Frugavore earlier this year and have been trying to put some of her advice into practice, like buying organic chicken carcasses and beef bones to make stock with, and cooking more with legumes, like lentils and beans, using dried (the pressure cooker is going to come in handy there) rather than canned beans and chick peas.

But. Cost is still an issue. And, we want to go o/s again (this time to live for maybe half a year) in 2014, before Liam starts highschool, so... I'm hoping I can parlé that into motivation to help us cut down on other resource use. Because mostly, cutting down should cots less, not more.

Right now though, I'm off to check out the Grass Roots FB page and see who's there.

Where is all the "men's art"?

This:

Part of the problem is when a woman writes about her experiences of trying to find out who she is it’s generally considered an insight into the female experience, but when a man writes about the same topic it’s considered an insight into the human condition (the same problem also happens for people of colour, LGBT people and other minorities, obviously.) In an interview, Heti stated, “‘Women’s fiction’ doesn’t sound like anything but a slur to my ears” and I tend to agree. This novel is important because the more books like this (and films and songs...) that are made and supported, the closer we get from moving from the idea of something being “women’s art” to it simply being “art”.

http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-culture/why-everyone-is-talking-about-this-book-20120717-227oz.html

Is your dream urban, suburban or rural? Are you living it?

Are you happy with your home? Or do you dream about living somewhere else? Kate @ Foxs Lane had a lovely post the other day, about getting home to her farm and being home. "As much as we pride ourselves in being cool farmers that can straddle the country/city divide, we really are the happiest here in the forest," she said. "At home."

It's wonderful to know where you belong, where home really is.

I've spent much of my adult life dreaming of a home in the country, or perhaps on the coast, but for me, I've finally realised, I'm in exactly the right place here in suburbia. I love visiting friends on their rural blocks, I love holidays down at Mossy Point, on the South Coast, and I love trips to urban Melbourne.

But I am happy here. Admittedly, I wouldn't mind a slightly larger suburban block. And I am still working on defeating my bigger-house envy. But I have enough space to have my own chooks, and grow far more of my own vegies & fruit than I yet do.

And at the same time I'm close to my parents and father-in-law, straight down the freeway and better yet a direct school bus route from a wonderful Steiner school, near to cousins and to my kid's friends and to many of my own. And yes, close to libraries and parks and rivers and mountains, and even cafes and museums and art galleries.

Plus I get to do a couple of days a week keeping my web skills up - or developing them even - in my day job. Sometimes I fantasize about quitting that job in favour of more writing, but really I do enjoy it, at least most of the time. I like the department I work in, both on a philosophical and cultural level, and also the team I work with. It's fun to be around adults all day, and it's fun to learn new things. We'll be moving our external websites to Drupal over the next couple of years, so I'm looking forward to more learning there.

Chris and Liam went on a father-son bonding weekend camp recently, out at the yurt farm near Goulburn, and the guy running it asked Chris why he stayed living in the city. Chris told me afterwards he didn't quite know how to answer, but the conversation we had as a result really cemented things for me - and for him I think - about why we do.

For me, as well as being about conveniences and about, quite frankly, not really loving the manual labour that a larger block of land implies, it's about a sense that urban and suburban is where it is going to be at, for a large part of the world's population, for the foreseeable future.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying some lovely rural living, and certainly I don't see all our food production ever being done within city limits. But I think the sense that we hippy-dippy sustainable living types often have, that sustainable urban living is second class, that while we can have chooks in suburbs, of course we'd all rather be living out of town, is misplaced.

Cities aren't going away. What we need to do is to learn to live sustainably within them. To drive less (also a big issue for rural living of course), to produce more of our own food, to create sustainable, supportive communities and live more simply, with less stuff.

It is a learning curve, because the way we've been doing urban and suburban living for the most part has not been sustainable, up to now. That's partly why I started Sustainable Suburbia.

It's taken me a long time - I grew up in suburban Canberra, and once I'd moved away for a while, I really did not expect to end up settling back here - but I finally realise that I love it here. It's a great feeling, and in some ways it frees me up to enjoy visiting my rural friends more without instantly starting to fantasize about being them. This is home, and it's where I want to be.

Gratuitous kid pic - Mikaela climbing in a tree out the front of our house.

If men returned to their rightful place...

Antoinette Brown Blackwell pictured a world where women moved from "bound to rebound," between the home and the world, with energies for both. She was one of the few who argued that this would only be possible if men returned to their rightful place as full participants in domestic life. 

Shannon Hayes, Radical Homemakers, p. 48.

This Moment: Sibling Harmony

Ingredients: One Big Pile of Mulch, Two Crisp Sunny Days, Two (or Three) Kids.

Posing:

Working:

Two rooms & a tunnel:

Posing again, at a hot chocolate break:

Inspired by SouleMama: {this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo [supposedly!] - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Queensland looking at biggest reversal of gay and lesbian legal rights, ever

From Blue Milk today

Queensland is looking at the biggest reversal of gay and lesbian legal rights in the world, ever. Your adorable queer parenting community needs help. And here is how to help them from Queensland lesbian mama friends of mine (they sometimes comment on my blog and you’d love them if you knew them, and god knows it is a small world and you probably do):

"We need your help.  In 2010 the law changed in Queensland so that children of same-sex couples were able to have both parents recognised in law and named on their birth certificates.  Many of you helped with that campaign and it’s a pity we need to ask you to help again. Unfortunately it looks like the LNP Government is going to reverse that reform, as well as the reform to the Surrogacy Act.  This means that our unborn child would only have one legal parent.  If the laws are retrospective, our existing child could lose his other mother as his legal parent.  We find it heartbreaking that these rights could be taken from our children.

"The changes are expected to happen fast and with very little or no consultation.  Parliament sits again next Tuesday, 10 July.  In considering the legislation in the party room, the elected LNP representatives need to be aware of their constituents’ views so that hopefully cannot ignore these views when they speak for them."

More at Blue Milk. And Rainbow Families Queensland.

Why we need more men to work part-time

It's interesting to me that in so many of these discussions about whether women should be SAHMs or WAHMs or 'working mothers' (part-time or full-time), and whether doing one or the other is consistent with being a good feminist (and/or mother), the role of men is so rarely mentioned except as an after thought.

I don't claim to be across all the conversations. I do often read that fathers should do their share or the housework and caring (particularly when both parents are working), and less often that they should understand that partners who are looking after their kids and homes all week, do not want to do all the caring & housework to be done during nights and weekends.

Lately I've read that mothers should be sure to nurture their careers, if not for their own future selves (post empty-nest or divorce), then to ensure there are women with caring responsibilities in the power structures of business and government, and to set good feminist role models for their daughters (and sons, is occasionally added). 

But rarely do I read discussion of men's role in changing the workplace, and in providing good role models.

What I would like to see is more men working part-time, more men taking 'career breaks' to spend time caring for young children, whether that means two months or two years, more men taking time out during the day to attend school plays, doctors appointments, or to listen to kids read in class.

Why do men need to do more of this? Is it to be good role models for their kids? Sure. To be involved and not miss their kids' childhoods? Definitely. To make it more realistic for their partners to have rewarding careers too? Absolutely. To ensure that both partners have a good understanding of both inside & outside the home work? Yeah, that too.

But the number one reason we need more men to work part-time? Because workplaces are not going to change fast when it's just for women. You want workplace flexibility? You want rewarding careers for people who don't work 60 hour (or even 40 hour) weeks? You want mangers to learn how to handle and support team members who work part-time? Then make sure men, as well as women, are demanding those options.

Yes, many workplaces are becoming more flexible already. In many cases there are already options for women to work part-time on returning from maternity leave (in countries like Australia where we have government mandated maternity leave), options to do some work from home, and flexible work hours.

And there are many women taking advantage of those options. But as long as it is primarily women using that flexibility, it will be still be a career stopper. It will still be resented. It will still mean women missing out on promotions, career building opportunities and support. It will still mean meetings routinely being scheduled outside of school hours. And it will still mean that men taking advantage of those options experience all those negative effects as well.

But when lots of men start to work part-time, things will change. Just like when men start to dominate a profession the status and pay goes up.

It may not be fair, and it may not be easy, but at the moment, it's the way the world works.

Chris was able to take two months off after Eliane was born, which was awesome for all involved.

 He also worked part-time from when I went back to work after Liam was born right up until after Eliane was born (this photo is from when Mikaela was about six months old), but he's found it harder to go back to part-time work this time. He's currently doing four days, but working late far more frequently than I like.

What I have been doing lately (photo post)

Nurturing my winter tomatoes in their pot, and discovering that our front courtyard is almost frost-free (not quite though).

Watching my honey pod peas grow twice as quickly in a pot in the courtyard as the ones growing in the vegie garden out back.

And watching Mikaela at her swimming lesson, which I usually don't do as I am busy with Eliane in the shallow water. Today Chris came, since it was a public holiday, and so I was able to task him with hangin' with Elli, while I watched Mikaela. She's doing really well (which these photos do nothing to show!).

Making 'healing cabbage soup' out of the cabbage provided in my first seasonal organic box from Whole Food Central. Except when I went to put the cabbage in I realised I only had a a quarter cabbage, not a half, so I added 1/4 cauliflower (also out of the box) as well. It was okay, but I think it would have been better with more cabbage.

We ate the soup with freshly baked rolls, that I made quickly when we got home from swimming. I didn't have any time to let them rise (not even once, much less twice), but they were delicious all the same.

Learning to make my own laundry powder (and other homemade cleaning products).

And reading quite a few books (I think I am in the midst of about four right at the moment), and writing a review of this one for my commitment to the Australian Women Writers Challenge.

The benefits of letting be

I had a good lesson in not providing lessons the other day.

Mikaela has a weekly swimming lesson, so Eliane and Liam get weekly swims too. Up until recently I've been going in with Elli, but it's cold, and well, frankly I just didn't feel like it today. So I changed into a short, quick-dry skirt and took off my shoes and socks and just stood in the shallows or on the edge while Elli splashed about a bit.

When I'm in the pool with Eliane, I spend a lot of time 'walking' on my hands with her on my back or my chest. But I haven't been able to get her to do anything similar, or even crawl. She always wants to be upright.

Today, because I wasn't in there, she spent the entire time in the very shallow water. First she was just standing and walking around, but after a while she sat down. From there she eventually moved onto hands and knees, and then it was a quick progression to stretch out her legs and let her body float, supporting herself on her hands.

She did get into trouble at one point, 'walking' forward far enough that suddenly her mouth was going under water, and her arms were barely long enough to keep her up, and her without the skills to sit herself up, but it was only a momentary fright (I yanked her up and moved her back a bit), and she was quickly back at it.

Gratuitous Eliane pic of the day (actually it's from February, but whatever...)

What I'm reading lately (or Shannon Hayes is Awesome!)

New post over at my other other blog, NK talks books, about all the books I'm reading at the moment. There seem to be quite a few...

Head on over and tell me, what are you reading?

What I'm Reading Lately, or What Happened to the Australian Women Writers Challenge?

It's true, I'm not doing very well on my commitment to review Australian women writers this year. It's May, and so far I've done one review towards my commitment, of One Magic Square, which I published over at Sustainable Suburbia. And by the way, I'm giving a copy of the book away, so if you'd like a copy, go read the review and enter the draw before the end of May.

<snip>

I am also reading several other wonderful books which are not by Australians. I love, love, love Shannon Hayes' Radical Homemakers. I just can't tell you how much I am loving it...

read more...

On being a Deficient Housewife

(Note, I wrote most of this post late last year, on my iPhone, hence some of it is out of date, eg the fact that I was recently on holidays or that I wasn't working outside of the home).

I confessed to my husband the other day that I sometimes feel a little inadequate as a housewife. And let's face it, I am inadequate, by any traditional measure (come look at my house when I'm not expecting you, if you don't believe me). 

But that's not really what the conversation was about. It started because a very good friend of mine recently called Chris a saint. And no, she didn't mean because he puts up with me, not really (she loves me, I swear), and yes, she was getting a slightly warped view because we were on holidays and on holidays I do admit that I expect Chris to change most of the pooey nappies (in addition to sharing the rest of the parenting), not only because in a normal week I change the vast majority, as well as doing the vast majority of the rest of the child care (just by virtue of being there), but because quite frankly, I'm up with Elli at night, more often than ever when we're away, so I figure I deserve a break from something! Do I sound a little defensive? Let's move on then...

Where was I? Oh yes, so my friend kept calling Chris a saint, which isn't all that unusual actually, and why? Because, look I'm sorry everyone, but from what y'all tell me, most husbands/fathers simply don't pull their weight. But wait, I didn't even need you to tell me that - the research very clearly shows that it is still the case that most women in heterosexual marriages do the lion's share if the housework, whether or not they also work outside of the home, and regardless of how much they work outside of the home. And this is especially the case if there are also children living in that home. In other words, on average, in a household with a man, a woman and some child or children, if both parents work outside the home, on average the woman will do X hours of domestic work and the man will do significantly less than X. (See here and here and here for some actual stats and studies to back that up. Edited to add: and most recently here. Hat Tip to blue milk for the link.)

And guess what? That's not the case for us. Chris pulls his weight with house work, including parenting. Not only that, he can't understand how it's possible that other men don't see that their wife is working all day (whether or not she gets paid for it), and often again much of the night, especially if they have young kids. And, weekends too! And holidays! 

Okay, Chris pulls his weight, people call him a saint, and I cannot deny that he is a stellar husband. So why does that make me feel less than? Chris pointed out that I am seeing it as though it's a zero sum game - that is, if he is better, I must be worse. I know, rationally, that that's not what anyone's implying. Well, not most people.

Actually, do you know what I just realised? I don't know that at all. I actually do think they think I am worse. Oh not this particular friend. Maybe not even most, but some? Absolutely. And it's not just because Chris hangs out that washing at night while he's watching television (after I've gone to bed, because I will more than likely be up by 5 with Eliane), and cleans up the dinner dishes while I'm getting Elli down or later when I'm working (writing, mostly, which I may love to do, but which I am still doing to try to earn an income), and gets up in the night with the big kids, while most of the other mothers I know do most if not all of that themselves - no, it's not just that stuff. It's because I do not keep a tidy house. I mean, Chris does all that stuff and more besides, and what do I do? I don't keep the house basically tidy, and I certainly don't keep the oven scrubbed or the windows clean or the bathroom completely free if mould, or even the toys picked up off the floor.

So why don't I? How is it that so many other women manage to keep their homes beautiful (or at least relatively tidy), while their partners work all day to earn a crust and then watch tv every night?* Is it because I spend my days playing with my children, doing craft activities, helping my eldest with homework, or otherwise having quality time with them? No it is not. Oh sure, I do those things, but no more than most, and certainly less than some.

No, the reason is—

Well. I'm tempted to say the reason is that I hate housework, but that - while partly true - would play right into my image problem. I really should stop telling people our house us perennially messy because we both hate housework and are basically lazy. The fact that is there are two reasons our house us perenially messy. Okay, three.

1. Yes I do hate housework, particularly the kind that involves picking things up and finding them a home. Cleaning I actually don't hate - cleaning the toilet or the bathroom? No problem. It's just a matter or finding the time. That, I find tricky. I've got the time, there are just other things I'd rather use it for. And Chris doesn't love it either.

2. I work from home. Yes, I'm on (unpaid) maternity leave right now, but at the same time I have been working very hard at trying to build an online business for over a year now, since Eliane was about 8 months old. It started out with just looking for a few places to get paid for some very basic web content writing. But it quickly morphed into me starting my own website (SustainableSuburbia.net), and trying to stay true to the principles and values the name of the site implies (and which I hold dear), while at the same time writing to address keywords & phrases that people are actually searching on (in search engines), and create an income from it.** I am still writing a bit for other sites as well (and as discussed here previously have now added narrating kayoz goes travelling to my suite of blogs, partly in order to profit from our recent rather expensive holiday abroad, which is itself not a little work), and I also started kayoz talks books, mostly to have a .au site to use to link to books on fishpond.com.au, on which I suddenly realised I was making some money as result of some posts on this site that rank well in search engines for certain books, so I wanted to leverage that without turning this blog into a sales pitch.

Okay, so the fact is that for the past year - pretty much as soon as I had started to regain some energy and got it together to cope with having three children - I have been working at home during the day whenever Eliane sleeps, plus quite a bit of her awake time, especially when both other kids were at school, as well as most nights after they were in bed. So while she's messing up the house, I am not walking around behind her cleaning up. Much less getting to the oven. Now that we're back from our trip I need to come up with a schedule with better balance, but which still gets the work done. But it will probably have a better balance with sleep, not with housework. So that's reason number two.***

3.  Clutter. Oh yes, the Clutter. And now we come to something I can do something about. I hope. But even that takes more time.

Wait, did you notice what just happened? I've just derailed this post to rationalise, to justify my deficiencies. When what I really wanted to do was to talk about why I feel inadequate in the first place.

I asked Chris how he feels about the fact that our house is a perennial mess, and he said he'd prefer it to be tidy. But that obviously he - and we - don't value that enough to actually "make it so". I said, how does it make you feel about yourself? Or about how other people may see you? He couldn't answer. I don't know, he eventually said.

Of course, we are just two people, and you really can't generalise from the personal. I will say, I think it's telling that it makes me feel inadquate and it makes him feel - nothing. We both would like to live in a tidy house, but only I allow my identity to be tied up in it. Admittedly, I've been the stay-at-home-mum for a while now, but even when we've both been doing moreorless equal paid work, I've still felt this pressure.

This is nothing new, I know, but it's interesting for me to see it in myself. So feminism has done its job? Hardly. And as long as we are still seeing the inequalities in this generation of parents, how can we possibly think the current generation of children will grow up without a similarly gendered view of the world?

Now, here are a few stellar posts you should go read next, if feminism and mothering and housework is of even passing interest to you. I'd love to write more myself, but for reasons outlined in that first post below, I can't focus anymore. It's taken me about three hours to get this far (and note, the bulk of this post was written months ago), and I can't cope with the interruptions anymore.

Motherworkin’ Part II – Interruptibility

My husband does do that - my journey out of the equal parenting closet

Before we call a truce on The Chore War

Putting the Wife Back in Housewifery

___________________


*I don't count the ones where both partners work all day, because if both adults are at work all day then generally there are no kids at home making a mess, and no one home using dishes and so on. At least when the kids are the ages of mine. So while I know that the average woman in that situation still does more housework than the average man, I also assume that there is less to do each day.

** I haven't talked about this much here mostly because that income depends on people either clicking on ads or buying products, either of which could be seen to be counter to the concept of sustainable/anti-consumer living that the website embodies, and I while I have mostly reconciled that in my own mind, I am still a little uncomfortable about it. More thinking to come.

*** and of course previously chris and I both worked part time - mostly - and I was mostly studying as well, enough said I hope.

'The first wave of real Abbottism''

"Campbell Newman, with his disdain for process, his early embrace of culture wars, his combative temper, and his perverse decision to deny funding to a major solar project on the grounds that the federal government had a carbon price (while later signalling a challenge to the legislation itself) represents the first wave of real Abbottism to hit the nation."

What a thoroughly depressing concept. From The Pirate Queen's Panopticon, Kim Jameson's new blog (late of Larvatus Prodeo).

Let's talk about (can I put this in my title without getting a load of spam?) S - e - x

We just borrowed (from the library) Let's Talk About Sex (in the US it's called It's Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health which I think is a better name)and Let's Talk About Where Babies Come From (called It's So Amazing: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families in the US, which I think is much better), to take a look at the them and see which would be more appropriate for Liam.

We've already got It's NOT the Stork: A Book about Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends, which we got when I was pregnant with Eliane, but Liam's a bit beyond that now (though he still listens when we're reading bits of that to Mikaela, and makes his own requests of what pages to read.) He's just turned ten, and I think the first of the one's we borrowed is aimed at 10+, while the second is aimed at about 7-10.

Anyway, after looking at them we really felt we wanted something in between. There's definitely some missed out of the first one that Liam will need to know in the next couple of years, if not yet, but it seemed to go into a *lot* of detail, that he just might not have the patience or interest to read yet. So we thought maybe we'd get the earlier one and give it to him now, but get the later one too and leave it on the bookshelf, making sure he knew it was there.

But. We left both books sitting out on the dining room table, so naturally he had a look at them. Would he think talking about babies was too boring? Would he think talking about s-e-x was too icky? No on both counts! And in fact, although he browsed through both, he Definitely thought the second one was more interesting. Show's how much we know!

The only thing we didn't like was there seems to be an overly strong emphasis on the physicalities of puberty and everything that goes along with it, without as much emphasis on how it feels. But, I have admit that is on browsing, it's not like we read either book all the way through, word for word (is that bad, to admit that we're giving Liam a book to read on sex that we haven't read all the way through - are are reading and talking with him as well, not just leaving him to read it on his own, though he can and is doing that as well). And over all I still think they are still great books.

Hat Tip to Dawn, who recommended these books on her old blog, This Woman's Work.

Now watch while my daily hits suddenly go up by several hundred per cent!

{This Moment} Eliane helps make ANZAC biscuits

Inspired by SouleMama: {this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Great New Blog! Conflicting Kates

An old friend has just started a new blog called Conflicting Kates. She's a mother of two young children, just quit her (challenging, interesting) job and is about to move back to Oz. The blog's about her conflicting selves - career vs super-mum vs why can't we be both?

I seriously contemplated quitting my job last year, instead of returning to work at the end of mat leave. I started to blog about it, but I don't think I ever did. But it brought up a whole load of questions for me, from "Do I really want to lose my fantastic job security (right when the world might be about to implode, economically as well as environmentally)" to "Can I really stand the thought of my family having the stereotypical father=earns-the-bread, mother=washes-the-diapers breakdown of roles?"

There was more to it than that, and in the end I didn't quit, and have been fantastically lucky to be able to go back one day a week for the moment, but it's not that I don't have the conversations in my head.

Anyway, Kate's only got a couple of posts up there so far, but they are thought provoking, and if you get in now, you won't have too much catching up to do. :) So what are you waiting for, go read it!

Jenni Overend Died

I read today that Jenni Overend died last year. The link includes one of her final poems. She was the author of Hello Baby, which was a favourite of Mikaela's when I was pregnant with Eliane. It is a wonderful book.

As well as a "celebrated children's author" she was a mother, a wife, a grandmother, and she was only 55. I know this happens all the time, but this story made me particularly sad, maybe because of her poem.

RIP Jenni Overend. I hope you are.

 

Baby book post: Eliane's language

Elli turned two a couple of weeks ago, so I figured it was about time I recorded some of her language development.

I still think she is possibly behind on pronunciation for her age - she's certainly behind where Liam was, though I think she might be at least equal to where Mikaela was at this age (but Mikaela was behind). But she's certainly not behind in language use or vocabulary.

She can now say Liam, rather than calling him Yiam, as she used to, and Mikaela has gone from Yaya, to tayla Mitayla. She still can't make the 'k' sound at the beginning of words (or syllables) and I don't think she does in the middle either.

I haven't counted the number of words she puts into sentences (third time mum!), but I'd say it's at least five. She still talks a lot in two-three word phrases though. And she gets little phrases or words she just loves to say. Like "I don't know" and "I don't think so" (often said one after the other). And the word (name) Tallulah is a favourite.

She also is really enjoying reading books at the moment. She was given Maisy's Bedtime for her birthday (by one of her godmothers), and after one reading, when we got to the right page (where Maisy realises Panda is missing), Elli put out her hands, palms up in the 'I don't know' or 'what could it be?' pose, and said "Where Panda?" She now says this without even needing the book for prompting, and then goes on to say, "Oh dear." "Not toybox", "Window!" with some frequency.

All in all it's a very fun age Vis-à-vis language development. And, she's still fairly patient when we don't understand her (which is often), and will repeat it over and over with a smile, only chucking a wobbly about it when she is really tired, generally, or has just woken up.

The holidays are over; Let the work begin

Kate at Foxes Lane asked the other day are you addicted to crochet? Something else? What are you making? (Okay, I'm paraphrasing from memory, and maybe conflating a couple of posts, but she did ask something like that.) And I thought, hmm I seem to have dropped my crochet addiction very quickly once school holidays kicked in.

I was making a lovely rainbow blanket for my nephew for Christmas, but then my sister-in-law came to stay for a week before Christmas and I suddenly stopped work on it (too busy talking?), until the point when I realised there was no way I was getting it done in time, so I caved in and bought something. The blanket will be fine for his birthday (in October!).

Over the holidays I relaxed and wrote (here and here and of course right here), and started researching an article on transition towns. I built a chook dome with Liam. I went swimming with the kids, and sometimes the husband, I stayed up late talking to my sister, who came to stay at Christmas, and again for my grandfather's funeral last week. I even watched a movie (something I very rarely do) and cried my eyes out. We went blackberrying, we went out to visit my cousin on his property out Gundaroo way and met his llamas, we visited my grandfather in Forster (before he died), we went to the beach. Also we slept in a lot, even if it was only until 7:30. What I didn't do was one single stitch of crochet or knitting. I did help Liam cut out some fabric to sew himself some wizards robes, but he is sewing them (by hand, I don't have a working sewing machine), himself.

But school went back today, craft group (at the school) starts up again on Friday, and I'm feeling crafty again. I'm thinking I will come to school pickup a little early and bring my crochet with me. I'm also thinking it's about time I knitted some new dishcloths.

But in the mean time, I'm going to tackle my pigsty of a house. The holidays are over.  It's time to get organised!

Picking wild blackberries, eating blackberry pie

Yesterday we went blackberrying.

I was unavoidably reminded of Little Sal picking blueberries and hearing them go ku plink, ku plank, ku plunk in her pail, which never filled up because she kept eating them. Especially because everybody ate a lot, especially Eliane!

The kids had a great time. Liam said "Let's put blackberrying on the calendar for February 4 as soon as we get one for next year."

We happened to know that some other children from Mikaela's kindergarten were going out to the same patch this morning, so we tried to stick to berries kindergarteners couldn't reach (Mikaela was excepted from this rule for obvious reasons!), but there were gazillions more we simply couldn't get to. One of the kindergarten parents going out today suggested bringing some planks of wood to get deeper in, and I could see why.

We picked about 2 & 1/2 litres between us. Apparently there are lots of wild blackberries around Canberra, And I've lived here most of my life, but this is the first time I've ever been berry picking. It's scandalous!

We had pancakes with blackberries for dinner last night (those of us who hadn't so stuffed ourselves while we were picking that they couldn't eat another bite), a blackberry smoothy for morning tea today, and of course, blackberry pie for dessert tonight (with ice cream and, you guessed it, blackberries).

Mmm, Yum. I don't think I've ever had blackberry pie before. Australians aren't really the big pie eaters that Americans are. Normally I guess I'd just have the fresh berries on their own, or with cream and ice cream (for a dessert). Actually we did that too - after the pancakes! But we had over two litres of berries to use, and this pie used nearly 5 cups. I don't think we could have got through that many fresh. Not on top of the other litre we ate!

We could have frozen them of course, or made berry preserves for winter. Hmm, maybe we'll have to go blackberrying again next weekend!

Sadie the Cleaning Lady

Me: I'm going to put you to work this morning scrubbing the floor.

Mikaela: You're kidding, aren't you?

Me: Yes.

Mikaela: But can I?

 

RIP Grandpop

Born: 1917;

Died: two weeks before his 95th birthday:

This photo was taken, by Liam I think, in December 2008, when we had Christmas at Charles's place in Forster.

It's been a DIY January, from Gnocchi to a Chook Dome

What I have been doing lately:

Making Quark

And making Gnocchi:

In order to make Linda Woodrow's first vego Tuesday meal:

Gnocchi with Zucchini and Pesto

But it's not all been about the kitchen. Liam and I made a chook dome two weekends ago:

Pictured here not quite finished - it still had to have a roost and waterproof cover added at this point, not to mention the door finished, but we had to get the chooks in, because we had someone putting in wall insulation that day, and wanted to make sure the chooks were out of the way, so he could go in and out of gates without worrying.

Liam and I did a Bunnings trip to buy the PVC pressure pipe (which is 15mm and comes in 6m lengths), and bought a small roll of new chook wire, but most of the rest of the stuff was salvaged from around the yard.

Then last weekend we went out to my cousin's property out Gundaroo way and visited with his Llama's:

There are less than two weeks of school holidays left now, but we have been enjoying them, for the most part.

Food Awareness

My word for the year in 2011 was decluttering. While the decluttering process continues (and I think will for quite some time), I've picked a new phrase for 2012, which is Food Awareness.

Food awareness can encompass a few different things, and I plan to follow Dixiebelle's year of eating nutriously closely, and try out some of the recipe's from Linda Woodrow's various food challenges, ie school lunchbox snacks, breakfast cereals, and this year's challenge, in-season vegetarian meals.

But my specific concern for this year is to focus more on our food supply, to buy more local food and learn to cook more seasonally. I'll be using Simply in Season for ideas, so expect to see some recipe reviews here this year, and I'll be shopping more at the farmer's markets.

I'm going to focus on eating more local food generally, but I also plan to make sure we have one meal a week that is made from solely local food.

Lunch: greens mostly out of the garden, tomato from the farmers market, eggs from the chooks. The olive oil and balsamic were not local though, nor was the left over feta.

Tricia, of Little Eco Footprints, and her family have undertaken a challenge this year to avoid all supermarkets and chain stores. I am planning to join her in that challenge for a month at sone point, but I also don't want to overwhelm myself by taking on too much at once. But I do want to work on having less supermarket visits in general.

One thing I need to consider is what does "local" mean, when it comes to food shopping? There have been people at the farmers markets before from as far afield as Adelaide, which is what? About 13 hours drive from here?  That's not the same as flying it in from the Northern Hemisphere, but it's hardly local.  There is also usually a stall from the Canberra Organic Farm, so I figure we can start out there each week, but they only have a fairly limited selection. Last Sunday, most of the other stall holders came from around Picton, Cowra, Young or Batlow, all between about 160 and 220km away. There were a few more local places, but most don't sell much variety (lots of eggs, for instance, which we certainly don't need to buy!).

Of course, there were also quite a lot of people who weren't there last week (still on holidays, presumably), so this Sunday may be different.

If you are a 'buy local' person, what do you consider local?

The Australian Women Writers 2012 Reading and Reviewing Challenge

I am joining the Australian Women Writers 2012 Reading and Reviewing Challenge, in this, the National Year of Reading (in Australia, that is).

Even though I've been an avid reader all my life, and have a masters degree in literature, for heaven's sake, I actually don't really read books anymore. Or at least, at the moment. Practically. But I am going to make the supreme sacrifice and read some for this challenge.

I'm only aiming for the casual "Miles" level (casual levels include Stella, Miles, & Franklin-Fantastic :) ), which means I need to read at least 6 books by contemporary Australian women, and review at least 3. That shouldn't be too hard. I will probably review them at my book blog, but I'll link to them from here, or keep a list in the sidebar or something, for accountability.

My first book will be One Magic Square, for the simple reason that I am already reading it.* After that I will find some fiction to read. I am going for the 'Dabbler' title of mixed genres. But I will probably review that at Sustainable Suburbia, rather than my book blog. So many sites to keep track of...

The stated goal of the challenge is to "help counteract the gender bias in reviewing and social media newsfeeds that has continued throughout 2011". Further discussions on this issue here, and more on the rationale for the challenge here.  They also mention that the National Year of Reading's, Love2Read "Our Story" campaign consists of 48 books, of which  only 18 are written by women. That's a pretty significant discrepancy!

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*I am reading three books at the moment, even though I know I said I don't read, but these don't really count - for starters, one of them is on my phone (Kindle for iPhone - I know Amazon is probably evil (eventually all the book links on this blog will go to either Fishpond of Booktopia or someone else), but I didn't actually buy a kindle so I'm not locked in (I have three other iPhone book reading apps), but I do love reading on my phone, when I'm nursing Elli in the middle of the night); also none of them is fiction, which is what I really mean by books.

The other two are The Must Read book of The Year (unless you read it last year) - The Great Disruption, by Paul Gilding, and another wonderful book, Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life, by Barbara Kingsolver.

The Kingsolver book is the one I'm reading on my iPhone, and the sad truth is that I bought it in hard copy while I was in the States, and then realised I never have time to read any more - though I am *making* time for the Gilding book (and One Magic Square is sort of  dip into book, but I will read it all in order to review it for this challenge now), so I bought it again, in the kindle edition.

Getting into the garden despite the 35 degrees!

I had my sister here over Christmas, and both her presence and her presents have re-inspired me to put more effort into the garden. Truthfully, I had already planned to find more gardening time in January. I missed the Spring plantings (with being o/s), not to mention the Spring weedings!, but I could still do some summer planting right?

I recently bought me a copy of One Magic Square by Lulu Houbein, and I was thinking, surely I could manage that. If I reclaim one square metre of my veggie garden this year - preferably next to where the comfrey and rhubarb are still going strong, so I have one edge taken care of, and only one area to water - maybe next Spring I'll manage a little (or even a lot) more. But one square metre shouldn't be too hard for now, and I could get a zucchini in there maybe (and not much else, but that might be okay).

Anyway, that is still going to be my first goal. But. Like I said I had my sister visiting. She's only owned her own place for a short time, but in that time she's done a lot more with it (food-garden-wise especially) than I have. I blame the fact that I have three children and she only has one, but since I had none when I first moved in here and she had a newborn when she first moved in there (who is now three), that's probably not the real reason. Whatever, she has done a lot, and she's done some courses in organic gardening and joined a permaculture blitz group and everything.

So when I put "fruit trees" on my kids Christmas wishlists* (wishlists are a tradition in my family), my sister immediately claimed them, and bought each of them a tree, plus a blueberry bush for me for my birthday (which is shortly before Christmas). So now I have a nectarine, pear and orange tree to find places for (that is, the kids have them, but I have to find places for them). I don't need to find a place for the blueberry bush, I've got that planned out. I plan to have a whole bed of blueberry bushes.

Not only that, but while my sister was here, we did a full garden walk around and talked through some ideas I had and she added some more ideas - plus of course we were talking where to put to the trees. And then, while we went up to visit my grandfather in Forster after Christmas, she stayed here in my house and she dealt with my over full compost bin (making all the delightful compost down the bottom accessible) and did a few other garden chores. I know, I have an amazing sister. And she has a much different work ethic to me!

So today, my first day back at home, it is 35 degrees outside (95 F) but I have spent the past week planning and dreaming and am desperate to get back into the garden. So this morning I dug some compost into my blueberry garden to be, before it got too hot. And then I couldn't help myself, I got the kids to help me move the chooks into the supposed vegetable garden. It is full of the two banes of my life, couch grass and ivy. Actually, the ivy is just encroaching, it's not full of it yet, but the grass and other weeds are spreading throughout. There is also gone to seed silverbeet and parsley, but I can live with them not self-seeding next year if the weeds don't either.

Of course, they were only in there for the day. I didn't move their house and anyway our labrador, Lochie, put a hole in the fence recently (we fenced the vegetable garden off to make it safe from him a couple of years back), so having the chooks in there today meant having Lochie locked up on the deck for most of the day (he spent some time in the chook run too, but then he started to whine, so I brought him back). And there is very limited benefit to the garden having them for a day, but on the plus side they got a lot of greens today!

Now, tomorrow Chris is off work so that I can work. In three weeks I will be back to my 'real' job in the public service on Wednesdays, but for the next three weeks I have Wednesdays to do my home work. Mostly that is meant to mean writing for Sustainable Suburbia, but I had thought I might spend tomorrow morning on garden tasks. Originally I'd been thinking maybe I could clear a metre or so of the vegetable garden, dig in some compost, and maybe plant a zucchini. But now I'm considering whether I could possibly build a small chook dome, a la Linda Woodrow, in a morning? I only need a very small one, to house three hens temporarily. Then I could have my square metre and they could gradually work over the rest of the garden, without getting into my rhubarb (poisonous leaves, and they did peck at them a big today), or my zucchini.

Mid last year I seriously contemplated getting one of these, but decided I had to learn to live within my budget instead. (By the by, that blog is now defunt, more or less, because I've lost the password and the wordpress installation seems to be buggered and won't show the captcha, so I can't get a new password. I have back ups, so I could start again and just reinstall it all, but I can't be bothered at the moment, so I'm just back to blogging about everything here. I always end up that way anyway! The main Sustainable Suburbia site is still going though.) So maybe it's time to make something myself. Or maybe not :) So that's what I'm off to do now - research the design, and make a decision.

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*This may sound a little self-serving, but aside from Eliane, who doesn't care one way or the other, my kids were really pleased with these presents. The big kids each have an apple tree that is "theirs", planted over their placenta when they were each about three or four, and one of Mikaela's other gifts was a purple flowering ground cover to go in her 'purple garden' around her apple tree. Neither kid is all that good with the work part of gardening, but they both love the concept (a bit like their parents really).

It's all over (or, Gingerbread house - the Before and the After)

A busy, busy day with seven kids in the house

Shopping done. Check.

Kids fed (several times). Check.

Gingerbread house put together. Check.

Friend's four kids arrived for the afternoon. Check.

Healthy slice baked for afternoon tea. Check.

And eaten (along with watermelon). Check.

Dinner prepared with something to like for all 7 kids (hopefully). Check.

Craft done, friend's kids with something to take home for Christmas (some of them anyway). Check.

So are the kid's Christmas presents for their grandparents made? Nope. One day left...

{This Moment} Putting up the Christmas Tree

Inspired by SouleMama: {this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

Pop over to SouleMama for more moments.