"You need to claim the events of your life to make yourself yours."
Anne Wilson Schaff


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Later pregnancy & conception posts (on Narrating kayoz)



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Ocean View Verandah


Sunday 18 November, 2001

Twenty and a half weeks.

I have been meaning to write this for weeks: I am now enjoying being pregnant. I thought I would write about nothing else for the entire 9 months, but recent world and local political events have intervened.

I started feeling better at around 17 weeks - now I mostly don't feel sick at all, or only in the evenings after dinner. There have been a few days where I feel a bit nauseous through the day, but not to the same extent I was before. Also I am still getting a bit of heartburn and reflux, but not every day like it was.

I had an awful day a couple of weeks ago when I was really sick - not from the pregnancy though. I came down with a cold type virus on the Thursday afternoon, and stayed home from work on the Friday. But then I started throwing up (barely making it to the loo in time the first could of times), I think from all the mucus I'd swallowed. And the second or third time, I choked.

I thought I was going to die. Me and the baby. I couldn't get my breath and kept trying to cough it out. I had an experience once before, when I was about 17, where I choked on a cup of tea - I could get no breath at all, in or out, not even to cough. Someone gave me the heimlich maneuver and very likely saved my life. That time though, I wasn't really worried. I remember thinking, "if I fall unconscious, I wonder if my throat will relax and I'll be OK, or if I'll just die?" But I think back then I didn't really believe in my own death, so I wasn't really worried.

This time was different. I think now that I must have been able to get a little breath in and out, because I could cough. But, I panicked. I was thinking I might die, and the baby would die, and Chris would come home from work at night and find us... It was a pretty awful few seconds. But, then I was able to force myself to relax, and once I did that I was able to cough it up sufficiently to breath. Then I went back to vomiting!

Once I recovered I called Chris and made him come home. I guess I was in a bit of shock, and I was afraid it would happen again.

Anyway, aside from that nasty experience (and the fact that I still haven't really shaken the virus), I've been pretty up the past few weeks. I can feel the baby now - though it took till only a week or so ago before I was sure that was what I was feeling. Now I feel it moving about several times everyday. I just can't wait till Chris can feel it too.

And I'm not so tired most of the time, which is wonderful. We've even painted two walls of the spare room (we need to get on with painting the spare room, study and living room, because my step father's building us book shelves for them), and planted a vegy garden. And yesterday we cleaned the house quite a bit because we had a friend coming over, and did the first proper big grocery shopping trip we've done in a while.

I have to admit, I'm still impatient for time to move on. I really want to get to the point where Chris can feel the baby move, for one thing. Also I am bored out of my mind at work at the moment, so quitting work for a while (I'm still planning to take a year off, probably from the start of March) will be very welcome!

But overall, I can now honestly say that I like being pregnant.