Sunday 2 April 2000
Well, I just finished reading Diane's birth story and although it makes the whole process seem even more daunting - scratch that, more terrifying - than it already did, it also makes me even more anxious to get on with it.
Chris and I are planning to have a baby at the end of next year. That is, we're planning to stop using contraception around the start of next year, and we're planning for immediate conception to occur.
This is important because a) it'll mess up our plans otherwise, and b) I don't want to be 30 before I have my first child, which gives me up to December next year. My Mum worries that I'm setting myself up for some serious disappointment, but it's not that I'm not realistic, I just figure you've gotta think positive.
Actually this plan is also complicated by the fact that we found out a few years ago that I was born with only one ovary. This shouldn't make any difference to my chances of conception, but the gyno who I was seeing (who I didn't like and will not be seeing again) did say something like "well, you may have a few miscarriages while your uterus learns to grow" that's because having only one ovary also means my uterus will be slightly smaller than normal.
Actually, I can't remember exactly if he said 'a few' or 'one or two' but I'm planning on none! He did only say 'may' after all.
Anyway, this, and the single ovary, combine to make me feel a little bit antsy about the whole thing. Like I want to get on with it. Mind you, I've been feeling this way for quite some time. Several years. But, practical at heart, we are waiting another year. Our plan is to have saved enough money for me to take a year off work. If I have a permanent job by then and can get maternity leave, so much the better - especially since that also gives me a job to go back to should I desire it and maybe even a part time option, who knows. But we're not counting on that. If I am not in a position to have maternity leave I will still take the year off - so, we are currently saving all our pennies - and not only for that, but for the very expensive Rolfing training Chris wants to do.
I estimate that that training is going to cost us around $20 000, including loss of income, since Chris will have to go to Melbourne to do it, for 2x10 week blocks- and I wouldn't be surprised it that is an underestimation.
Actually, another reason for the timing being critical is that Chris's first lot of training looks like it will be next January and February (and a bit of March I guess) - exactly the time when I am supposed to be getting pregnant in fact - and then that means that the second lot will - I assume - be about the same time the following year. You have to do the second level within one year you see, but since each level costs several thousand dollars I imagine most people will need the time in between. And then too, I think they have to bring a trainer out from the states, so that person would probably want a reasonable break in between too.
So, basically, unless I manage to give birth before the second level, we have to wait a lot longer, or else I have to spend the some of last few months of pregnancy alone up here while Chris is in Melbourne, and also risk giving birth while he's away. To avoid the latter I guess we'd have to wait till July to start trying to achieve conception- meaning a due date in April or later. Well, I do not want to give birth alone, and I do not want to wait that long. And then too, lets say I got pregnancy in July, due in April, Chris is going to be away for almost the whole last trimester. That sucks
Whereas, if we can manage a birth in about November, than I could go to Melbourne with him (since I wouldn't be working anyway), or at least spend some of the time down there...
Basically, they've chosen a very poor time to run this training, but since the alternative is to go to the States which costs a whole lot more (and seems to mean living in Colorado or Washington DC)... Because you see they've only run the level one here once or maybe twice before, and they've never run the level two. So chances are good that they won't be running them again any time soon, either. So we're going to try to fit it in now.
So hopefully, next year, I will be able to join JournalBabies... we'll see I guess. In the mean time I'm going to go read some more of the book Natural Fertility: conscious conception and contraception, which I'm only 1/2 way through.
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