Ocean View Verandah

in the process of becoming
(and loving it)






Narrating kayoz (main)

Later pregnancy & conception posts (on Narrating kayoz)




Sunday, 24 September 2000

Just now I was sitting out on our newly paved 'patio' in the sun, having my breakfast and listening to the birds. It's very quiet out here on Sunday mornings, and I was reminded of the feeling of being up early at the coast, sitting on the front verandah at Mossy Point with all the birds going through their early morning voice calls.

The Journeys collaboration project for September that I've chosen to write on (there are always a couple to choose from) asks the question: What in your life is in the germination, incubation or gestation phase? So, once I'd done a very little work in the garden, gotten too hot, and decided to wait for Chris to get up before doing any more, I sat down and thought about that a little. It's getting close to the end of the month. What will I write about?

I guess what is really in the gestation process for us at the moment is moving on to a whole new period of our life. The big change will come we hope towards the end of next year or the beginning of the following year when we become parents. But right now we are already moving towards that change by making a lot of smaller changes. All the work we've been doing in the garden is one aspect of that. Chris having his last day in his current job yesterday was a another aspect.

The intermediate change we are working towards at the moment is really moving to our new house later this year. All the fixing up of the garden here is in aid of that, although after all the hard work everyone's put in, it will be hard to leave here.

We're making that move now because we don't want to make it while I'm pregnant, and we certainly don't want to make it when we have a young baby. But we see the new house as a better one to be in once we're parents. Partly because it has the converted garage which we plan to use as a massage clinic room, once we add an ensuite. Partly it's because it's bigger, and a much nicer place for me to be at home all day once the child's born. Among other things it has a deck with a view, and lots of lovely spots for writing. Also, it's very close to where my Mum lives (a long walk or a very short drive), which will be nice.

Of course, all those things would be nice now too, but they will be more important then. Having a massage room at home, for instance, will make it possible for me to do a few massages - maybe just one or two at a time, when it suits me. Whereas working for a clinic they usually want you to be committed to the same slot each week and able to do at least 4 or 5 massages at a time. Which is certainly fair enough, but may not suit me then.

Mind you, the very, very earliest we will be trying to conceive is about March next year, and it's likely to be later. But, Chris will be away January and February (with the car) so we can't be moving then, and also, it will be much easier for me to take off for weekends and visit him if we're living just near my Mum, since she will easily be able to call in and feed the cats, without the 40 minute drive she's got now (Chris's Dad is closer now, only about 15 minutes, but still not as close as Mum will be). And while Chris's away it'll be nice for me to be that close to Mum. Plus I don't really want the stress of moving to occur within the three months before we start trying to conceive.

So, we're getting ready to move at the moment.

Chris has also just finished the job he's been in for the past few years, working as Courses Coordinator at the massage college I used to manage. He will now be looking for temporary work that will pay better (and be full time), to help with our money saving process. There's no point in him looking for full-time work, since he's got to be away for 4 months next year. He probably could have stayed on at the massage college till the end of the year, but his hours had been cut, and we really weren't saving the money we need to for his Rolfing training and the baby plan (much less the trip overseas plan).

Doing the temporary work now will also assist in getting that sort of work next year in between his two lots of two months away. He's going to keep massaging two nights/week as well, and of course the longer term aim is that he'll be doing that (or Rolfing) more or less full-time. Once we have a child, our plan is for me to take 12 months off work and then probably for us both to work part time. Of course, by then I'll probably be a world famous (but critically acclaimed) novelist, making millions on the movie rights. But we'll still work a bit. *grin*

And then of course there's the change in my work situation. I left my job at the start of the year with a view to getting more and different experience, more pay and more likelihood of maternity leave. If I'd continued taking temporary positions I wouldn't have gotten maternity leave, but it looks like I will be made permanent in my current position (that's the recommendation the selection committee's made) so I will get that as well. Which means at the end of the 12 months I will have the option of going back to the public service (although possibly not exactly the same job) at the same level - and may be able to get it changed to part time. It also means I will get three of the twelve months on full pay, which definitely assists the savings process.

Also, by getting this work now, even if I didn't have a full time position or don't go back to it after the twelve months, it will make it a lot easier to get work again later, should I want to. And quite apart from that I am still really enjoying the completely different environment, and learning to work in a different way.

It's a long gestation, if you think that it started at the beginning of this year when I left my old job, and won't be complete until at least the end of next year. And of course, the process of becoming parents won't end with birth. But a new phase of our life will definitely have begun. And for now, I am enjoying the changes we're making in preparation.



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